Disney's Robin Hood Rewrite
by Dede42
Summary: This is a rewrite of the Disney movie by yours truly and her online brother, Roleplayer48. There is no romance, and just a lot of fun with Robin Hood and Little John giving Prince John a hard time.
1. Chapter 1: The Adventure Rebegins

A/N: Yes, this is an updated title sequence thanks to my wonderful online brother, Roleplayer48, and he was right, I meant to say Gordon but said George instead. Oops! Anyway, time for this instead. Onward!

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, ponies, meerkats, warthogs, foxes, bears, vixens, badgers, chickens, wolves, vultures, lions, snakes, rhinos, hippos and elephants, I present to you: Disney's Robin Hood (with a lot of very strange and wild and wacky changes to the original film). Or just Disney's Robin Hood: A More Comedic Retelling for short. Just so you know, Dede42 and I, RolePlayer48, don't own anything from Disney's Robin Hood. Although if we did own it along with many others, that would be totally awesome! Enjoy! Try not to post any overly critical/harsh reviews on this though. Dede42 and I are a little sensitive.

* * *

Disney's Robin Hood: A More Comedic Retelling.

(Chapter 1: The Adventure Begins/Oo De Lally)

*So, just like the original film, we start off with a green book titled ''Robin Hood'' in gold cursive writing. Nothing new here. The book opens with more boring cursive writing just like the original film only this time it says ''Why are you even reading this book? It's just a boring humanised Robin Hood book according to the pictures. The only interesting thing at all in this book is a rooster with a guitar on the next page. Why don't you look at that instead of reading this?'' instead of what the book says in the film. So we cut to the next page where we find, what a surprise, a rooster with a gutair standing on the very top of the page posing in one spot like a statue just waiting to be noticed.*

Alan A Dale: (notices whoever turned the page to where he's now standing) Hmm? Oh very good. Visitors. How nice. (Does a double take in surprise) Visitors?! Oh finally! It's about time someone found me in here, ya know! I've been waiting in here for ages just waiting to tell people who read this book not to read it because...(calms down)...ahem...well, because there have been many legends, tall tales, books, school plays, films and fanfiction (now we have technology) about the legendary fairytale character known as Robin Hood. All different too. But you see, the reason why as I said a few seconds ago that you shouldn't read this book is because that we folks of the animal kingdom have our OWN version which is much more exciting, funny and enjoyable than any other version of Robin Hood you may or may not have heard of. (Begins to play the opening song called ''Whistle Stop'' on his gutair) Mmm-hmm. It's the story of what REALLY happened in Sherwood Forest.

*And off goes Alan A Dale (a rooster: voiced by Roger Miller) walking across the book's many blank pages whistling his song for the opening credits just like the film. Because this is a rewritten verison of the film via fanfic though, the opening credits shall be shortened and will only show who this films introduces instead.*

Prince John

A Lion

Voiced by: Peter Ustinov

Sir Hiss

A Snake

Voiced by: Terry Thomas

Robin Hood

A Fox

Voiced by: Brian Bedford (who sadly died of cancer January 2016)

Maid Marian

A Vixen

Voiced by: Monica Evans (the only voice actor of this film who apparently is STILL alive according to the internet unlike the rest of the cast who died of old age or something some years after the film and Brian who died 2016)

Little John

A Bear (Baloo's Cousin)

Voiced by: Phil Harris (who oddly enough also voiced Baloo and Thomas O'Malley)

Friar Tuck

A Badger

Voiced by: Andy Devine

Lady Kluck

A Chicken

Voiced by: Carole Shelly

The Sheriff of Nottingham

A Big Bad Wolf (no, not THAT big bad wolf)

Voiced by: Pat Buttram

Nutsy

A Vulture (a very dumb one)

Voiced by: Ken Curtis

Trigger

Another Vulture (cleverer than Nutsy)

Voiced by: George Lindsey

*And the opening credits just end there to save time. By the way, isn't it weird how the opening credits in the film don't introduce any of the OTHER characters in this film and show who's voicing them? Weird, huh? Anyway, Alan A Dale is just finishing his song and sits down on a letter ''O'' in some chapter of the book.*

Alan A Dale: Like my song? It's a pretty catchy one, isn't it? I'm thinking maybe some day in the distant long time now future, I should turn my little song into some dance remix or something. Maybe even add lyrics to it.

(Foreshadowing to the Hamster Dance song a few years later which, incidentally, uses a sped up sample from Alan A Dale's Whistle Song from this movie. Maybe Dede42's heard of it. Dede42: Oh, I'm familiar with the Hamster Dance Song, and believe me, I heard it _way_ too often and it ranks up there with the _Small World_ song and the _Chicken Dance_ song. Shudders.)

Alan A Dale: By the way, for those of you who don't know who I am, allow me to introduce myself. The name's Alan. Alan A Dale. One of Robin Hood's Merry Men. Not only that, but as you can tell by my guitar, I'm also a minstrel. That's an early day folk singer. And my job here is to- (cringes as one of his guitar strings break from hitting a flat note) -to tell it like it is...or was...or whatever! Let's just get on with it.

*So we cut to the forest where two figures walking down the road (Robin Hood and Little John) are taking a nice stroll while Alan A Dale sings about what they do.*

[Alan A Dale]

Robin Hood and Little John

Walking through the forest.

Laughin' back and forth

At what the other one has to say.

*As Robin and John chat, telling jokes inbetween, they stop at a log bridge.*

Little John: Hey Rob, how's about we go for a nice dip in that little river right here?

Robin Hood: (bows) After you, Johnny Boy.

Little John: (bows too) Oh please. I insist. After you.

Robin Hood: Okay then. If you insist.

Little John: Man, this is gonna be swell.

[Alan A Dale]

Reminiscing this and that

And havin' such a good time.

Oo De Lally, Oo De Lally.

Golly, what a day.

*The two try to cross the bridge and then jump into the river for a swim...well, Robin Hood did anyway as Little John is still on the bridge losing his balance until he falls in! Clumsy thing! We cut to them both now in the river having a lovely time and relaxing in the water unaware they're being spied on by a wolf in sheriff's clothing along with an army of wolf archers. I think we all know who this is.*

[Alan A Dale]

Never ever thinkin' there was danger in the water.

They were drinking, they just guzzled it down.

Never dreaming that a scheming Sheriff and his posse

Was a-watchin' them and gatherin' around.

Sheriff: Aha!

Robin Hood: (finally notices the Sheriff and his Guards surrounding them) Uh oh.

Sheriff: So, Robin Hood! And...uh...ermm...

Little John: Little John.

Sheriff: Whatever! We've caught you both at last! Guards! Ready? Aim!

Robin Hood: (raises his hands in mock surrender as Little John does the same) No wait! Please, don't shoot!

Little John: Yeah! We surrender!

Sheriff: FIRE!

*The Wolf Archers fire the bows and arrows as Robin Hood and Little John duck into the water.*

Sheriff: Hey, wait a minute! Where'd they go?

Robin Hood: (now standing on the other side of the log bridge with Little John) Over here, suckers!

Sheriff: (completely dumbfounded) What the? But i did...you were...my men...and the water...and...

Robin Hood: Run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm a merry man!

Little John: What about me? Aren't I a merry man too?

Robin Hood: Yes you are but the word ''men'' doesn't really rhyme with man though.

Little John: Ah.

Sheriff: (really agitated at this point) G-g-g-GET THEM!

Robin Hood: Make a run for it!

Little John: Where?

Robin Hood: Where else? Our hideout, stupid! Come on! (They both start running away with the Sheriff and the Wolf Archers not far behind)

[Alan A Dale]

Robin Hood and Little John

Runnin' through the forest.

Jumpin' fences, dodgin' trees

And tryin' to get away.

*Just before they reach they're hiding tree, Robin quickly jumps onto Little John's shoulders, grabs the tree branch and swings them both into the tree. The pack arrive a few seconds later wondering where they went, unaware that the wanted thieves were above them, quietly watching them on the tree branches without giving away where they were.*

[Alan A Dale]

Contemplatin' nothing

But escape and finally makin' it.

Oo De Lally, Oo De Lally.

Golly, what a day.

*The two friends sigh in relief as the guards run off in hopes of catching they're prey. The heroes have escaped trouble...for now.*

Robin Hood: Phew! That was a close call.

Little John: (pulls an arrow out of his shirt) I'll say. It's lucky we managed to escape in one safe peace. Though I should probably tell ya, Rob. You're takin' way too many chances.

Robin Hood: (scoffs) Chances. You must be joking. That was just a bit of a lark, Little John.

Little John: Yeah? Why don't you look at your hat then?

Robin Hood: Why? What's wrong with my-SWEET MOTHER OF KING RICHARD! There's an arrow stuck to my hat!

Little John: Yep. That sure doesn't look like a candle on a birthday cake to me.

Robin Hood: I should say so. (Takes off his hat and removes the arrow. Then puts the hat back on his head) This one almost had my name on it, didn't it? They're getting better, you know. You've got to admit it. They ARE getting better.

Little John: (snaps the arrow in his hand in half) Yep. And the more they learn, the more difficult it would be for us to outsmart them.

Robin Hood: (swings his fists a bit) Ha! Let them try! I could show those bullies a thing or two and then we'll see who gets the last laugh around here!

Little John: Heh. Try tellin' that to the Sheriff the next time, when they'll probably have a rope around our necks. (Holds onto his throat, making a gagging sound as an example of they're possible fate) It'll be awfully difficult to laugh hangin' there, Rob.

Robin Hood: Oh puh-lease! For all we know, that Sheriff and his henchmen couldn't lift you off the ground what with your weight and all.

Little John: Now just a minute! That's going too far! I ain't fat! I'm just big boned!

Robin Hood: (sarcastically) Of course you are. En Garde! (Throws his arrow at Little John who ducks his head while the arrow gets his hat)

Little John: Hey! Watch out Rob! That's the only hat I've got! I can't afford to buy another one!

Robin Hood: May I remind you, Johnny Boy, that NONE of us can afford to buy ANYTHING?

Little John: Oh yeah.

Robin Hood: (lays back down on the branch he was sitting on) Look. Just stop acting like a scaredy cat and relax, okay? You worry way too much, old boy.

Little John: Hey Robin, I've been thinkin' for quite some time now and I'd never thought I'd feel the nerve to bring it up until just now, but are we the good guys or the bad guys around here? Y'know, I mean, uh, our robbin' the rich to feed the poor.

Robin Hood: Rob?! Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a horrible thing to say there, Johnny. We NEVER rob. We just... sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.

Little John: Borrow? Heh. If you say so. (Chuckles to himself) Boy, are we in debt?

*Suddenly, a sound of trumpets get they're attention. Especially Robin's, as he perks up and climbs up higher to the top of the tree to look for the source of the noise.*

Robin Hood: O-ho! (Rubs his hands together in excitement) That sounds like another collection day for the poor, eh Johnny Boy?

Little John: Yeah. Sweet charity.

* * *

A/N: And as you share more, Roleplayer48, I'll post it. Later! ;) R&R everyone!


	2. Chapter 2: Prince John and Sir Hiss

A/N: And here is the new and improved Chapter 2!

* * *

Disney's Robin Hood: Non-Romantic/Kid Friendlier Rewrite.

(Chapter 2: Prince John and Sir Hiss/Fortune Tellers)

*Just coming down the road is the royal entourage. Along the entourage is the carriage belonging to the royal family. Of course, the royal family isn't that popular right now. Perhaps due to the fact that the only one the people of England didn't like is in the carriage, making their lives miserable. Inside the carriage are two figures. A lion in a red robe (Prince John) and a snake (Sir Hiss) with a red/orange (check the movie just to see what the colour really is for a second. It could be both.) hat and cloak and bag of taxes stolen from the poor people.*

Prince John: (Laughing while running gold through his hands) Taxes, beautiful lovely taxes! Aha, aha! (Yes, that's his laugh) Look at all the gold!

Sir Hiss: Uh, sire. I don't know if it's a very good idea to announce your gold to everyone. Because there might be...

Prince John: GOLD! (Continues laughing like an idiot) Look at it!

Sir Hiss: Well anyway sire, you have an absolute skill for encouraging contributions from the poor.

Prince John: To put it in another way, my dear counsellor Hiss, ''rob the poor to feed the rich!'' (Rimshot plays outta nowhere as the two of them laugh together) Anyway, Sir Hiss, where is our next stop to tax some more people?

Sir Hiss: (looks at the map very closley) Let me look at the map and find out. Hmm. Let me see. Well, we've been to Lincoln, The River Trent, Darby, Walting St. and Manchester (pause the movie where Hiss looks at the map and you'll see these place names are there before you start assuming I'm making it up). According to map, sire, we have been everywhere...(notices Nottingham) Ooh! Except for Nottingham! The last place on the map, sire!

Prince John: Ah yes! The richest plum of them all! Notting- (chuckles to himself before putting his brother's crown on and looking at himself in the mirror) -ham. (Then the crown slips down from his head while he's wearing it) D'oh!

Sir Hiss: (smiles) What a perfect fit, sire! Most becoming indeed! Why, you look regal, dignified, sincere, masterful, noble, chivalrous...

Prince John: Okay, okay, I get the point, Hiss. Don't overdo it.

Sir Hiss: Beautiful, handsome, pretty, adorable, dashing, marvelous...

Prince John: What are you? A dictionary? Oh no, wait. Those things haven't been invented yet.

Sir Hiss: Spiffing, majestic, loveable, cuddly...

Prince John: (starting to get annoyed) Okay, now you're just being silly.

Sir Hiss: Wonderul, gorgeous...

Prince John: Hiss...

Sir Hiss: Banana...

Prince John: ENOUGH! (Bonks him on the head)

Sir Hiss: Ow. Thanks. I needed that.

Prince John: And besides, just wait until I've adjusted the crown PROPERLY before complementing how I look (Flatten his ears and places the crown back on his head an stays on) There. Now it fits just fine. Boy, let me tell you, Hiss, that this crown gives me a feeling of none other than power! POWER I TELL YOU! (Realises his shouting his knocked Sir Hiss and the mirror over) Ahem. Forgive me a cruel sinister chuckle. (Does just that) Power, mmm.

Sir Hiss: (hands Prince John the mirror so he can look at himself) You know, King Richard's crown sure looks good on you, sire.

Prince John: I know, right?

Sir Hiss: I'll say. Just look at how well it sits on your noble brow.

Prince John: It does, doesn't it? (Suddenly realises what Hiss had just said) Just a minute! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!

Sir Hiss: (getting nervous) Uh, nothing!

Prince John: KING RICHARD?! (Begins strangling Hiss) HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KEEP TELLING YOU, HISS?! NEVER EVER MENTION MY BROTHER'S NAME IN MY PRESENCE! I! AM! THE KING!

Sir Hiss: (Prince John finally lets go of him) Yes sire. You are the king. I-I...well I was only saying how well his crown sits on your brow. That's all. A mere slip of the forked tongue, your majesty. (Chuckles nervously)

Prince John: (considers for a moment) Well, alright then, Hiss. I suppose I'll let you off this time.

Sir Hiss: (now has a pain in his neck after just being strangled) Ow! Now my neck hurts!

Prince John: (sarcastically) Gee, I wonder why?

Sir Hiss: Ow. You know sire, you...ow...have a pretty strong grip there for a fat...(notices Prince John glaring at him)...uh...for a skinny man that is. Anyway, (begins singing a certain song from a terrible High School Musical movie my sisters liked) we're all in this plot together (stops himself before getting any further in the song), if you don't mind my saying so.

Prince John: Hmm. Singing so is more like it.

Sir Hiss: And remember, it was your ingenious scheme, cunning plan and brilliant idea that I hypnotized him after reading a book called ''how to do hypnotic spells'' that a cousin of mine named Kaa who lives in the jungle gave me and...

Prince John: (Interrupts) I know, and sent him off on that crazy crusade with hippies! (Begins his signature laugh again) Aha, aha!

Sir Hiss: (chuckles quietly) Much to the sorrow of the queen mother?

Prince John: (begins to cry) YES! MOTHER! Oh, why do you always remind me about her, Hiss? You know it makes me uncontrollably sad. Besides, mother always did like Richard best!

Sir Hiss: Which brings me to a question that's never been asked before, sire.

Prince John: What is it now, Hiss?

Sir Hiss: Well, um, i know this is a personal subject that you don't like discussing, but why exactly DID your mother prefer your brother over you?

Prince John: That's a question that even I don't know how to answer, Hiss. For the most unexplained reasons throughout my childhood, my mothers heart was always inexplicably linked to Richard. You know, I think this is best expressed through a song.

Sir Hiss: Oh no. What have I done?

(The song Prince John is about to sing is loosely badged off Doofenshmirtz's ''Mother's Hearts Inexplicably Linked To Kickball'' song from one of the Phineas and Ferb episodes. Again, I only started watching mostly Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus's scenes because one my sisters like it and has gotten me into liking it.) (Dede42: My sisters and I tend to hook each other on stuff, too. So, you're not alone on this.)

[Prince John]

My mother's love was always inexplicably linked to King Richard.

And my brother was loved more than me from the start.

Sir Hiss: Sire, please don't sing.

[Prince John]

Because I lacked the finesse...

Sir Hiss: Wait, what does finesse have to do with...

[Prince John]

So it put to the test...

Sir Hiss: Sire.

[Prince John]

I couldn't kick my way right into her heart.

Sir Hiss: SIRE!

Prince John: Huh? What? What was I doing?

Sir Hiss: Singing about your mother?

Prince John: (begins crying again) MOMMY! (Begins sucking his thumb while holding his ear making Sir Hiss disgusted at the sight)

Sir Hiss: Oh come on, your highness. Please don't do that. If there's one thing I don't like about your off-key singing, it's your thumb sucking. Because you see, you have a very LOUD thumb. (Begins hypnotising Prince John) You know sire, the power of my hypnosis that I learned from my cousin Kaa who lives in the jungles of India can rid you of your psychosis-s-s-s-s-s-o-o-o-o-o-e-e-easily. (Begins to sing a certain song as the hypnotic effects seem to be working) Trust in meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Prince John: (quickly snaps out of it) NO! NONE OF THAT! None of that!

Sir Hiss: (mumbles) Well, sorry. I was only trying to help you out in your time of need.

Prince John: Heh. I wonder. Silly serpent.

Sir Hiss: Silly Serpent?!

Prince John: (looks at himself in the mirror once more) Now listen here, snake. Just one more, one more hiss out of you...uhh...Hiss, and you are WALKING to Nottingham.

Sir Hiss: (Slithers to a basket to sit down and mutters to himself) Snakes don't walk. They slither. Hmph, so there.

* * *

(Robin Hood and Little John climbs out of the tree, pulls a large trunk out of a hole under the tree trunk, and they open it to get out their fortune teller outfits. Once they are ready, they head out to the road and watches as the royal carriage comes their way.)

Little John: Now what about that for luck? It's only a circus. A peanut operation.

Robin Hood: ''Peanuts''?

Little John: And there definitely doesn't seem to be any clowns either for a circus, if you ask me.

Robin Hood: (scoffs) Oh, you dunce. That's not a circus parade if that's what you think it is.

Little John: It's not?

Robin Hood: No. That's the royal coach. It's Prince John himself.

Little John: (surprised) Wait. The prince? Now hold on a second there, Robby. While your intentions are good, there's a law against robbin' royalty. (Starts to walk away) Sorry Rob, you're on your own. I'll catch ya later. 

Robin Hood: (runs past his friend and stops him) What? And miss this chance to perform before royalty? Ha. No chance! Now, come on. (He runs off toward the road)

Little John: (sighs and gives in) Here we go again. (Follows his friend to the road)

Robin Hood: Okay Johnny, we've got to make this convincing. (Changes his voice to sound like a lady gypsy) Oo De Lally! Oo De Lally! Fortune tellers!

Little John: (still in his normal voice while holding a crystal ball up and down on his paw) Fortunes forecasts, lucky charms!

Robin Hood: (normal voice for a second) Oh come on, Johnny. You've got to do a much better job of acting than that.

Little John: (indignantly) Geez, sorr-y! I can't do lady voices that well.

Robin Hood: Ahem. (Goes back to sounding like a gypsy) Get the dope with your horoscope!

Prince John: (peers through the curtains with a curious face) What's all the noise out here? (Smiles brightly when he sees the two ''fortune tellers'') Oh goody! Fortune tellers! How droll! Uh, stop the coach!

Sir Hiss: (peers through the curtains as the coach stops) Uh, sire? Are you sure this a good idea? I mean, for all we know, they...they may be bandits. Or...or men in women's clothing.

Prince John: Female bandits? Men in female's clothing? Whatever next? Rubbish! (Chuckles to himself as he opens the door to the ''fortune tellers'') Um, erm, my dear ladies, (presents his ring-covered paws to them) uh, you have my permission to kiss the royal hands. Whichever you like...first.

Sir Hiss: (starting to get nervous) Uh, sire? Are you sure that's really necessary?

Robin Hood: (still keeping up with his gypsy act throughout the remainder of this scene) Hmm! Oh! How gracious and generous! (Kisses his hand, steals one of the rings and replaces them with fake plastic rings)

Sir Hiss: (sees this and begins to panic) Sire, sire, did you see what they...

Prince John: (pushes the snake away when the tongue tickles in his ear) Stop! (Giggles) Stop hissing in my ear!

*Little John then snatches the rest of the jewels in his mouth. After that, Hiss looks at him suspiciously.*

Sir Hiss: Excuse me, ''miss'', but what do you have in your- (Little John smiles revealing the jewels in his mouth causing Hiss to panic) -HOLY MOLY! (Begins hissing in Prince John's other ear) S-s-s-s-s-s-s-SIRE!

Prince John: (pushes the snake away a second time) AAH! (Quickly chuckles before getting angry) Hiss! Oh, now you've done it, you suspicious snake! You have gone too far, you know that? You have hissed your last- (ties a knot in Hiss's neck) -Hiss.

Sir Hiss: (struggling to breath) H-h-h-h-HELP! I C-c-c-c-c-CAN'T B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-BREATH!

Prince John: (notices a basket) Well breath in there then! (Stuffs Hiss into the basket and sits on it) Honestly, that snake. So sorry about that, my dear fortune teller. Please, do come in.

Robin Hood: (does just that while still sounding like a gypsy throughout the remainder of this scene) Why, thank you very much, your excellency. (Chuckles as he closes the curtains causing the room to be dark) Now, first things first, sire. I need you to temporarily close your eyes for a few seconds. Close your eyes. Tight shut. No peeking, sire. This won't take long. (Sees the bag of gold near the basket the prince is sitting) Ho-ho. This is going to be easy. Ahem, ooh! From the mists of time, come forth, spirits. Yoo-hoo! (Peeps his head out the curtains quickly while the prince's eyes are still closed) Psst, that's your cue, Little John. Have you got the crystal ball ready?

Little John: Almost, Rob. (Takes out a jar of fireflies and lets them out through a hole into the ball) Okay, little fireflies. Glow, babies, glow. (They begin glowing) There. (Ties the ball with the fireflies to a pole) All set, Rob.

Robin Hood: Good. (Goes back inside the coach and continues on with his gypsy act) Ahem, oh my! I wonder what's taking the spirits I've called so long to come forth? (Sees the crystal ball come through the curtains) Ah, oh! Look, sire. Open your eyes. Look!

Prince John: (opens his eyes) Hmm? What are we looking- (sees the floating crystal ball in front of him) Ah! Incredible! Floating spirits! Come to daddy!

Robin Hood: (slaps Prince John's paw) Ah, ah, ah. Naughty, naughty. You mustn't touch, young man.

Prince John: Oh, how dare you strike the royal hand. That really hurt.

Robin Hood: Shh! I'm sorry, sire, but you really mustn't touch it or you'll break the spell. (Sets the crystal ball o the table) Now, just gaze into the crystal ball. Oo De Lally! Oo De Lal...oh!

Prince John: What? What is it?

Robin Hood: I see a face appearing! (gasps) A crown is on his noble brow.

Prince John: (Sees his reflection and acts like a little boy) Oo De Lally! A crown! How exciting!

Robin Hood: I also see in my crystal ball that his face is handsome, regal, majestic...

Sir Hiss: (from inside the basket) Just a moment! Those are all the things I said earlier!

Robin Hood: ...loveable, a cuddly face.

Little John: (listens from outside) What? Prince John? Loveable?! Are you kidding me?

Prince John: Handsome? Regal? Ha, majestic. Loveable, yes, yes. Cuddly. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, that is SO me to a T. It clearly is, yes.

Sir Hiss: (as Robin almost grabs the bag of taxes near him) Oh no you don't! (Slaps him)

Robin Hood: Ow! I...uh...

Prince John: Now what? Is it something bad?

Robin Hood: (nervous chuckle) Oh, nothing. Nothing. That snake of yours just slapped my hand.

Prince John: Really? Now, how did he manage that? I thought I put him in this basket.

Robin Hood: Anyway, I see, uh, your illustrious name...

Prince John: (snaps) Yes, yes, yes! I know what my name is! Get on with it!

Robin Hood: Okay, well, to put it simply shortly, uhhhh...how do the last words of that Rudolph the Red a Nosed Reindeer song go? Oh yeah. Your name will go (somehow manages to take the bag of taxes away from Hiss and hands it outside to Little John without the prince even noticing) down, down, down, in history, of course.

Prince John: Yes! I knew it! I knew it! I knew I would amount to something one day! Did you hear that, Hiss? My name will go down...(realises something)...oh yeah. I forgot. You can't hear me. You're in the basket. (Whacks the basket) Don't forget it. 

* * *

*Meanwhile back outside, as he carries the bag of taxes very carefully without being spotted, Little John notices something.*

Little John: Well, well, well. What do we have here, then? (Gasps in realisation) Well, what do ya know? Solid gold hubcaps! I guess it wouldn't hurt to take one or two. (Secretly steals them by...shimmying them off with his butt?)

(Okay, seriously though, all the times I watched that part of this film as a kid, I never knew that Little John was stealing the hubcaps at all and just assumed he was scratching his butt because he had an itch or something and that was what was making the squeaking noises. What did any of YOU think before realising what Little John was actually doing the whole time? Dede42: I never thought he had an itch and was swiping the hubcaps in a unique way.)

Little John: There. Now that that's taken care off- (trails off as he notices a treasure chest of gold) Well, shiver my timbers and call me Long John Silver! I think I just found the jackpot! (Uses a knife to make a hole in the bottom of the box, puts the bag Robin Hood gave him underneath it and all the coins begin to pour into it) How is no one noticing this?

(...that...is a VERY good question...)

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Hmm? What's that jingling noise?

Some Other Rhino With No Name: Probably the prince counting his money in there again.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Are you sure? Because it sounded like it came from somewhere out here...(notices Little John still in his costume with the bag of taxes hidden under his red bonnet thingy) oh look! There's one of the fortune teller ladies! I say, miss! You think maybe you could come back one day and tell MY fortune?

Some Other Rhino With No Name: Oh, honestly, Derek. Who would wanna read YOUR fortune? Nothing exciting happens to us rhino guards anyway!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): I CAN DREAM, YOU IDIOT!

Little John: Right. Time to make like a tree and leave! (Another rimshot plays out of nowhere as he runs around the coach only to collide into Robin who is wearing Prince John's Royal Red Robes) Ow! Watch where you're going, Robby!

Robin Hood: Me?! I'm pretty certain YOU'RE the one who needs to watch where he's going! I...(realises all the gold spilled out) AHH! Quickly, Johnny! Put it back in the bags! Hurry!

*They do just that as Prince John opens the curtains only in his underwear that he later on in this movie sleeps in to see what's going on.*

Prince John: What's with all the racket out here! I'm trying to have my fortune tol- (Robin Hood and Little John run right past him) -WHAT THE?!

Robin Hood: (cackling like a wicked witch) Finders keepers! Losers weepers!

Prince John: (notices his robe gone) ROBBED! I'VE BEEN ROBBED! HISS! YOU'RE NEVER AROUND WHEN I NEED YOU!

Sir Hiss: (comes out of the basket) That's because you TRAPPED ME IN THAT BASKET, YOU STUPID...oh...uh...nice underwear.

Prince John: (all embarrassed to be seen like this) Ahem. I've been robbed.

Sir Hiss: (annoyed) OF COURSE YOU'VE BEEN ROBBED, SHERLOCK!

(The thing that I love most about this scene is that at first, Prince John is shouting at the top of his lungs until Hiss comes out and then talks more calmly and embarrassed.)

Robin Hood: Quick, Little John! Back to our hideout before they catch up to us!

Little John: (waving back at the rhino guards, especially that dumb Derek) Fortunes forecast, lucky charms!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): (waving back at Little John) Ah, goodbye, nice lady! Do come again soon!

Prince John: AFTER THEM, YOU FOOLS!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Ah, you see, guys? Even the prince wants me to have my fortune told next! Why else do you think he'd call us to chase after them?

Prince John: THOSE AREN'T FORTUNE TELLERS, YOU DUNDERHEADS! THEY'RE BANDITS!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): (now disappointed) Oh. That's different. Right, uh, come on then, lads!

*The entourage run after our heroes, but one of the wheels come loose since the hubcaps were removed and fell off, and Prince John and Sir Hiss fall into the mud. Well, sucks to be them.*

Prince John: (crying) No, no, no, no!

Sir Hiss: I knew it, I knew it! I just knew right from the very moment those men in female's clothing showed up that this was going to happen. I tried to warn you that they were bandits but no, no, no, you wouldn't listen. You just had to...(notices Prince John about to smash his mirror on him) Ah, ah, ah! Wait! Be careful with that thing or you'll give us both...(MIRROR SMASH) ow! Seven...years...bad...luck...s-s-s-s-sire. Besides, you've just broken your own mother's mirror.

Prince John: (wails) AAAAAHHHHHHH! Mommy! (Sucks his thumb again after realizing what he did but notices mud on it) I've got a dirty thumb.

* * *

A/N: And that's a wrap for the new and improved Chapter 2. See you all tomorrow as I have work at the movie theater on Tuesday. Bye! R&R everyone!


	3. Chapter 3: Enter the SheriffBirthday!

A/N: Yes, I will be seeing you again on Thursday, Roleplayer48, and as for the other fanfics I'm posting, just ignore them. ;)

* * *

(Chapter 3: Enter the Sheriff/A Very Merry Unbirthday For Skippy)

Alan A Dale: (taking a walk through the town of Nottingham when he notices a wanted poster of Robin Hood) Well, now. There's a handsome devil. (Chuckles) Well, even though Prince John offered a HUGE reward for the capture of Robin Hood, though it was probably just a lie so that the people would be dumb enough to fall for something like an award and turn against our hero, that elusive rouge just kept on robbin' the rich to feed the poor. Hey, that's not a bad slogan. I'll have to remember that one. But yeah, believe me, it's a good thing he did, cause what with taxes and all, the poor folks of Nottingham were starvin' to death.

Poor People Of Nottingham Nearby: (talking in unison) WE ARE STARVING TO DEATH!

Alan A Dale: See what I mean? (Notices a fat wolf in a sheriff's attire) Uh-oh. Here comes ol' bad news himself. The *cough cough* ''HONRABLE'' Sheriff of Nottingham.

Sheriff: (singing) Making my way downtown, walking fast, taking taxes and I'm home bound. Staring blankly ahead just making my way, making a way through the crowd. (Notices Friar Tuck just leaving his house) Well looky there. Heh, Friar Tuck, the old do-gooder. He's out doing good again.

* * *

*An indeed he is. Friar Tuck is making HIS way downtown, walking fast but DELIVERING taxes to a house where a dog with a broken leg in a cast called Otto is working with some steel like a blacksmith. And that's certainly a tricky thing to do since his leg is broken for a unknown reason that is never explained in this movie.*

Otto: Well, good morning, Friar Tuck.

Friar Tuck: Shh! Keep quiet or you know who might hear you!

Otto: Oops, sorry.

Friar Tuck: (hands Otto a small bag of gold) Anyway, here you are, Otto. A little present from Robin Hood. (Giggles)

Otto: Aw, God bless Robin Hood.

* * *

*Back outside the Sheriff walks up and knocks on Otto's door.*

Friar Tuck: (gasps) Oh no! It's the Sheriff! Quick Otto! Hide it quickly!

Sheriff: Ahem. Let me in. Let me in.

Otto: No! Not by the hairs of our chinny chin chins!

Sheriff: Then I shall huff...and I'll puff...AND I'LL...nah, just kidding! Ready or not! Here I come! (Enters the house) Well, greetings from your friendly neighborhood tax collector.

Otto: Oh take it easy on me Sheriff, what with this busted leg, you know, I-I'm way behind in my work, Sheriff. (Shows his busted leg)

Sheriff: Aw, I know, Otto. But ya know, you're way behind on your taxes, too.

Friar Tuck: Oh, do have a heart, Sheriff, if you have one. Can't you see he's laid up? Come on, Otto. Here's a chair. You'd better come on over and sit down and rest your foot.

(Like Dede42. I do hope she's resting her foot too. Dede42: Yeah, I'm resting my foot whenever I can, like right now.)

Otto: Oh, thank you. Yes. (Limps over to the chair as the coins jingle from inside the cast causing the Sheriff to take notice)

Sheriff: Oh, of course, Friar. You are right as always. I feel so ashamed. Here, let me give Otto a hand with his leg. Upsy-daisy! (Lifts Otto's leg as coins fall from the cast and into his hands)

Otto: HEY! WHAT THE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Sheriff: Bingo! Ah, what they won't think of next. (Begins hitting Otto's cast to cause a stuck coin to fall out much to the dismay of Friar Tuck) It smarts, doesn't it, Otto? But you know what Prince John says that taxes should hurt.

Friar Tuck: (enraged) NOW SEE HERE, YOU, YOU, YOU EVIL FLINTHEARTED LEACH! WHY I OUGHTA...

Sheriff: Now, now, now, now. Save your sermon, preacher. It ain't Sunday, ya know. Besides, I took it 'cause I had to. It's all part of my job as a Sheriff. (Walks away singing again) Making my way downtown, walking fast, taking taxes and I'm home bound. They call me a slob but I do my job. Do-do do do do do.

* * *

*Cut to a nice little cottage which resembles the Three Bear's home except it's inhabited by a family of bunny rabbits. I wonder if Fluttershy would ever consider coming to Nottingham and playing with these cute little bun buns at this house? Anyway, inside this house is someone's birthday. Who's birthday you ask? An older bunny in a blue sweater named Skippy who is being given a present from his mother. Aww, isn't dat sweet? But just as the bunnies' almost finish they're song...*

Sheriff: (barges in) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU! (The bunny family gasp in shock) Surprised to see me, I see? It's not often you get someone like me attending a birthday party, ya know. Well now, sonny, that box is down up right purty, ain't it?

Skippy: (gulps) Uh...yeah...well, Mr. Sheriff, sir, it's my birthday present, sir.

Sheriff: It sure is, kiddo. Why don't ya open it and see what it is?

Skippy: (opens his present as familiar Legend Of Zelda chest opening music plays in the background) Oh boy! One whole farthing! (Da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!)

Sheriff: (nicks the coins off him) Nope.

Skippy's Mother: (angry at Sheriff) Why you...have you no heart?

Sheriff: Well of course I do. How else am I still alive? (Rimshot)

Skipper's Mother: Don't be so danged literal! I mean, look! (Gestures to Skippy who is now beginning to cry) We all scrimped and saved to give that farthing to him for a birthday present.

Sheriff: Now that's mighty thoughty of you, widder-woman. But ya know what they say, the family that saves together, pays together. That's how it works around here. (Looks to Skippy who breaks out into tears) Aww, now don't take it so hard, sonny. Why, Prince John wishes you a happy birthday too. (Patting Skippy on the head falsely comforting him)

*Who should walk into the cottage next but Robin Hood in a blind begger's costume?*

Robin Hood: (sounds like an old man) Alms, alms, alms for the poor.

Sheriff: Hmm, well...(dunks Skippy's farthing into Robin's cup causing the rest of the coins inside to pop out and fall right into his hand!) Ah, there we go! Well, so far, it's been one heck of a cheerful morning...for me, at least! Heh. Keep saving! (Walks out of the house)

Robin Hood: (still in his beggar costume) Oh, dang it. Now, why didn't I do anything to prevent that from happening?

Skippy's Mother: (angry) Why that no good, lowdown, dirty rotten villain! What a dirty trick! (Helps the ''beggar'') You poor old man. Do come in. Come in and rest yourself.

Robin Hood: (regains his old man impression) Thank ye kindly, Mother. Thank ye so much. Tell me now, did me old ears hear the melodious sounds of someone having a birthday party here just now?

Skippy: (still crying his eyes out) Yes, sir. And that...mean old...Sheriff...took my...birthday...present.

Robin Hood: (still sounds like an old you get the idea) Did he now? Now isn't that a shame? But be a stouthearted little lad and don't let it get you down. (Takes his glasses off revealing his familair face) Look, I'm Robin Hood!

Skippy: (gasps in awe) Gee-whizz! It's Robin Hood!

Robin Hood: (removes his costume revealing himself...still wearing his fortune teller disguise) Yep! That's right! It's me! Happy Birthday, So...(looks down and realsies) oh, dang it! I forgot to take my fortune teller disguise off when I robbed Prince John earlier this morning! Just give me a quick second! (Takes the blue fortune teller disguise off revealing himself back in his normal green shirt) Ah, there we go! Much better! Happy Birthday, Son! (The bunny family can't help but burst into laughter after Robin's little blooper) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. Anyway, young man. Tell me, how old are you today?

Skippy: Gosh, I'm seven years old. Goin' on eight.

Robin Hood: Seven? My, my. That DOES make you the man of the house. Although compared to this young lot, you were probably ALREADY the man of the house. Anyway, here's a special present just for you. (Hands Skippy one of his spare bows and harmless fake plastic arrows)

Skippy: For me? Gee thanks, Mr. Robin Hood, sir.

Robin Hood: Aww, you don't have to call me sir, young man. Just Robin will do.

(Reference to the Sword in the Stone where Merlin tells Arthur/Wart not to keep calling him sir.)

Skippy: Hey, you guys! How do I look, huh?

Tagalong: Not much like Mr. Wobin Hood.

Robin Hood: Geez, talk about buzzkill. But, in a way, she's right. There DOES seem to be something missing. But what? (The thought finally comes to him) Of course! (Removes his hat and places it on Skippy's head) There you go.

Skippy: Boy oh boy! This is more like it! NOW how do I look?

Sis: (stifles her giggles) Well I don't know about you, Tagalong, but I think the hat's too big.

Skippy's Mother: Shh! Mind your manners.

Tagalong: Yes. Mind your mattles.

Robin Hood: (chuckles) Don't worry. You'll grow into it, young man. I certainly did when I first had this hat. Heh. It didn't half fit ME at first.

Skippy: Oo De Lally! Thanks Robin! I'm gonna try it out! (Rushes out the door and Tagalong follows)

Tagalong: Bye, Mr. Wobin Hood! Come again on my birthday!

Skippy's Mother: (chuckles) Oh, you HAVE made his birthday a wonderful one.

Robin Hood: Mmm-hmm. Definitely did a lot better than the Sheriff.

Skippy's Mother: Heh. That's for sure. How can I ever thank you?

Robin Hood: I only wish I could do more. (Hand her a bag of money) Here's some money to cover up any of the damages you might incur and all of the hospital bills. Anyway, keep your chin up. Someday, there will be happiness again in Nottingham. You'll see. Now if you'll excuse me (puts his disguise back on), I'm gonna be an old man again. See you later. (Walks back outside) Ahem. Alms, alms, alms for the poor.

Skippy's Mother: Oh Robin Hood, you risk so much to keep our hopes alive. Bless you, bless you. (she sheds a tear of happiness)

* * *

A/N: Yeah, I did laugh with Robin Hood's goof. See you Thursday! ;) R&R everyone!


	4. Chapter 4: An Unexpected Encounter

A/N: Hey, Roleplayer48, here is the full chapter, and I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

(Chapter 4: An Unexpected Encounter With The Strangest Of Fair Maidens)

*We see Skippy running off with his two sisters along with turtle with glasses named Toby. They were running to a field where Skippy is gonna try out his new birthday present from Robin Hood which just so happens to be a bow and arrow...which is fake and made of plastic so as not to hurt anyone...especially children...*

Toby: Gee, uh, did Robin Hood really give it to you?

Skippy: Yeah. And this is his own hat, too.

Toby: Well, no offense or anything, but I don't think it quite fits you yet. It's too big.

Skippy: Aw, what do you know? You're a turtle.

Toby: Yeah. I guess your right. But still, I sure wish I could shoot your bow and arrow.

Tagalong: Let me try it Skippy! I wanna go! I wanna go!

Skippy: Oh no ya don't! I'm the birthday bunny, Robin Hood gave it to me, therefore, I should get to use it first. Simple as that.

Sis: Uh Skippy? I think you might be pointin' it too high.

Skippy: (pulling and pointing his arrow high) Nonsense. I'm not either. Now stand back and watch! (Firing his arrow over the field and into the backyard of Prince John's castle)

Skippy: Dang it!

Toby: Uh-oh. Now you've done it.

Skippy: Yeah! That was my ONLY arrow!

Sis: And right in Prince John's backyard too. It's lucky that arrow was made of plastic or that could've KILLED somebody!

Skippy: Well, it ain't stayin' in that backyard for much longer. Come on gang!

* * *

*Skippy runs through the field and heads towards the castle, and tries to squeeze right through the bars.*

Tagalong: Uh Skippy, you can't go in there.

Toby: Yeah. If Prince John finds you, he'll chop off your head for sure. (Sinking his head into his shell) Like this.

Skippy: Oh I don't care one bit about that. I gotta get my arrow back whether you want me to or not.

Sis: Wait a minute though. While your in there, Toby might tattle on ya and get you in trouble with your mom.

Skippy: Good point, Sis. Well Toby, to prevent you from doing such thing, and on my birthday no less, you've gotta take the oath.

Toby: (confused) An...oath?

Tagalong: Put your hand on your heart and cwoss your eyes. (Skippy, Sis and Toby do just that)

Skippy: ''Spiders, snakes and a lizard head.''

Toby: (struggling to keep his eyes crossed) Uhhhhhh, ''spiders, snakes and a lizard head.''

Skippy: ''If I tattletale, I'll die till I'm dead!''

Toby: (gulps) ''I-I-i-if I t-t-t-tattletale, I-I-I-I'll d-d-die t-till I'm d-d-d-dead.''

Skippy: Okay. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'm goin' in.

* * *

*Skippy slips through the bars and sneaks into the bushes, looking for his arrow until he spots two women playing badminton. One is a fox/vixen/whatever with a pink gown and long pink bloomers (glad they're not as long and ridiculous looking like Prince John's underwear as seen earlier) and then other one is a chicken in a blue dress. Who are these two? Well, you'll find out in a minute.*

Maid Marian: (she holds the white ball, or whatever you call it, in her paw) Are you ready, Lady Kluck?

Lady Kluck: Oh, as your Lady-in-Waiting, I'm waiting! (Yet another joke rimshot plays out of nowhere)

*Lady Kluck tosses the ball into the air and hits it across the net towards Maid Marian, who runs and hits it back across the net, being careful not to trip on her LONG dress. Both ladies laugh and joke as they continue to hit the ball back and forth to each other over and over again, which begins to bore Skippy nearly making him forget why he came into Prince John's backyard in the first place.*

Skippy: (notices the plastic, harmless arrow by the nearest tree) Aha! There it is. All I need to do is get it and then I'm outta here pretending this little mistake of mine never happened. (Sneaks round to the tree and hides behind it just to be safe)

Lady Kluck: (panting while still wearily hitting the ball thingy back to Marian) I'll tell you what, Marian, I'm getting a little bit too old for this. I'm not as young as I used to be.

Maid Marian: No Klucky, you're not. And I shouldn't think you were as young as you were when you WERE young in the first place. But still, that was a good shot.

Lady Kluck: Well, you're not bad yourself, dear.

Maid Marian: Watch out for my killer serve! (Hits the ball just a teensy weensy, yeah right, TOO HARD and flies over Lady Kluck's head and into the bushes behind her.)

(Yes, Dede42. Just a quick little reminder if you remember the original film, it WAS Maid Marian who hit the ball thingy too hard, not Lady Kluck because the arrow and the tree Skippy's hiding behind is is behind HER, not Maid Marian. Again, not to insult you because I know you try very hard with these sorts of things. Please forgive me though in case you DID take offense. Dede42: No worries, I fixed the goofs.)

Maid Marian: Oops!

Lady Kluck: Oh dear! Now, how did that happen?

Maid Marian: Sorry Klucky. I think I may have hit the ball too hard.

Lady Kluck: Wow. And I thought I was the clumsy one who doesn't know her own strength sometimes. Do you want me to go get it for you, Marian?

Maid Marian: (Shakes her head) No, I'm the one who hit it too hard, so I guess I shall be the one to get it. (goes over to the bushes, kneels down, and crawls into them to find the ball. She spots it and reaches for it just as Skippy reaches to his plastic arrow, which is next to it, and they both freeze when they say each other) Oh! Well, hello there. Where did you come from?

Skippy: (backs away in fear whimpering as his nose twitches) Oh, please don't tell Prince John! Mama says he'll chop of my head!

(Somehow, I think whoever wrote the script for this scene in the original film got this line wrong because wasn't it TOBY who told Skippy that Prince John would cut off his head?)

Maid Marian: (laughs) Oh, don't be afraid. You've done nothing wrong.

Lady Kluck: (pokes her head into the bushes) Marian, is everything alright? Can you find the ball- Oh, Marian, what a bonny wee bunny.

Maid Marian: (Notices the hat) Who does this young archer remind you of?

Lady Kluck: (Recognizes the hat) Ooh, well, upon my word, the notorious Robin Hood. (Skippy smiles)

Maid Marian: That's right. Why, only the famous outlaw himself wears a hat like that.

Skippy: (much more cheerful now) Yeah. And look at this keen Robin Hood bow. He actually give me this along with a harmless plastic toy arrow that I was trying to get back as a birtdhay present for my birthday.

Maid Marian: (amazed) Really now?

Lady Kluck: Now, how come he never dropped by to visit us and give us presents on OUR birthdays?

Maid Marian: Don't be jealous. It could happen to us eventually.

*Back by the gate bars where Sis, Toby and Tagalong are still waiting for Skippy to come back and wondering what's taking so long, Tagalong...sneezes. No one knows what caused her to sneeze though unless it just happened to move the rest of this scene in the movie forward.*

Lady Kluck: (notices the others after hearing Tagalong sneeze) Oh, Marian. Don't look around, but I do believe we're surrounded! Oh, mercy!

Maid Marian: Why, so we are! Friends of yours, little bunny?

Skippy: Yeah. They're also my roommates. (Gestures for them to come over via waving) Hey, come on guys! It's perfectly safe to come on over!

Sis: He's snitched on us.

Maid Marian: It's alright, children. Don't be afraid. Please come here.

Toby: Do you two girls think it's safe?

Tagalong: Well, it must be. That's Maid Marian.

Sis: Well, so it is! You powers of observation astonish me, Tagalong. Mama says she's awful nice. Come on. Let's go see her. (They squeeze through the bars and run over to the ladies)

Tagalong: (left far behind) Hey! Not so fast, you guys. Wait for me.

Sis: I told Skippy he was shooting his arrow too high.

Skippy: Hey! I'm new to using bows and arrows, alright!

Maid Marian: Well, I'm so very glad he did. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had the chance to meet all of you wonderful kids. (Toby waves to her with a shy look)

Sis: Gee, you're very beautiful.

Tagalong: Is it true that you and Robin Hood are good friends?

Maid Marian: (smiles) Oh, yes, we were good friends as kids, but when his father sent him away, we lost contact. And after so many years of not seeing each other after I left for London, I fear that he may have forgotten all about our wild and wacky friendship now that he has Little John living with him.

Skippy: What? Robin Hood? Forget about you? Never! Why, (demonstrates what Robin would do via unintentionally assaulting Toby with his wooden toy sword) I bet he'll storm the castle gates, fight the guards, rescue ya and drag ya off to his hiding place in Sherwood Forest until they've given up for the day.

Lady Kluck: Now just a moment there, young man. You've forgotten about that crybaby Prince John.

Skippy: Who? Him? Pah! That ol' Prince John don't scare the heck outta me!

Toby: (sinking his head into his shell again) I'm scared of Prince John. He's cranky.

(And he doesn't mean Cranky the Crane from Thomas the Tank Engine if you've heard of him!)

Lady Kluck: Ah, ah, ah, ah! (Uses a racket as a sword and acts out like John) I, Prince John, challenge you to a duel. Hey, hey! Take that! And that! And this! (Doing a little sword play)

Skippy: Death to tyrants! (Fights back)

Lady Kluck: Och! Och, och! (Running for her life)

Maid Marian: (Skippy and Lady Kluck circle around her while STILL sword fighting) Oh my goodness! Whatever shall I do? Oh, save me, my hero, save me or I am doomed! DOOMED I TELL YOU!

Sis: Slice him to pieces before Marian here OVERACTS!

Skippy: Will do. (Whacks his wooden toy sword on Lady Kluck's foot)

Lady Kluck: Oh! Ouch! That's not fair. Mommy! (Begins to hold her ear and sucks her thumb like John)

Sis: Oh yeah! That's definitely Prince John alright! (Goes into a huge giggle fit)

Skippy: Yahoo! Now I've got ya!

Lady Kluck: Och, mercy! Mercy! (Grabs Skippy's wooden sword and acts out like she was wounded) Oh! Oh, he got me. I think I might be dying. Oh, mercy! I'm actually dying! I'm dying! (Lies on the floor/grass) I am dead. Not big surprise.

Skippy: (worried) Uh-oh. Erm...I didn't REALLY hurt you, did I?

Lady Kluck: (whispers) No, of course you didn't, young man. I'm only acting. Besides, this is the part where you drag your former damsel in distress into your hiding place in Sherwood Forest. (Closes her eyes and continues playing dead)

Skippy: (Takes Maid Marian's hand and drags her off) Come on, former damsel in distress! Let's go!

Maid Marian: Oh, Robin, you're so brave and impetuous.

(Does anyone know what impetuous means? I seriously don't! I never searched it up and this movie doesn't tell me what it means!)

Maid Marian: (Goes into a bush pretendening it was a forest) Oh. So this is Sherwood Forest.

Skippy: Yeah, I guess so. Phew. Does roleplaying ever take a lot outta ya or what? I'm beat.

(Now you know how I feel at times when my hands begin to hurt after doing reviews in the style of roleplay this gaining the name RolePlayer48 instead of just ''guest''.)

Skippy: So, now that we're here. Now, what are we gonna do?

Maid Marian: I think we should sneak back and launch another attack on Prince John. What do you think?

Skippy: (grins) Great idea!

(Maid Marian and Skippy crawls back out of the bushes, grabs the rackets, gives sticks to Sis and Toby, and soon they chase Lady Kluck, who still pretends to be Prince John, around the yard while Tagalong laughs and cheers them on.)

* * *

A/N: Ok, this should be much better then in the movie, and I hope you enjoy it. See you on Tuesday! R&R everyone!


	5. Chapter 5: Planning a Prank

A/N: I love what you came up with, Roleplayer48, and I'll look up that comic when I have the chance to enjoy it, too.

* * *

(Chapter 5: Planning a Prank for Prince John)

(Later that day, Maid Marian is dancing in her bedroom while Lady Kluck is watching her.)

Lady Kluck: It was nice to see those kids, wasn't it?

Maid Marien: (stops dancing and nods) Oh yes, they were wonderful and such fun. I think that's the most fun I've had since I left for London. Oh, how I wish I could back in time to when I was a kid and was having similar fun with Robin.

Lady Kluck: Oh, I'm sure that the day will come when you and Robin will be able to spend time together again as friends. Maybe when King Richard returns from the wars.

Maid Marien: But when, Klucky? When?

Lady Kluck: Oh, patience, my dear. Patience. Remember, absence can make friendship last a lifetime, not just for a single childhood.

* * *

*Meanwhile back in Sherwood Forest, Robin is cooking something in the cauldron over the open fire while humming to himself, While Little John is doing laundry.*

Little John: Hey Rob, how's that grub comin, man? I'm starved.

*Robin doesn't listen as he is STILL daydreaming and humming. The worse thing that anyone could ever do when they're supposed to be cooking.*

Little John: Rob? Robin? Robaire. HEY, STUPID!

Robin Hood: (snaps out of it) Huh? What the? Who said that? I...oh, sorry about that, Little John. What did you say?

Little John: Aw forget it. Your mind's not on the food. You're thinking about a certain friend you haven't seen in _years_. And- is something burning?

Robin Hood: (looks at the cauldron and yelps when he sees that it is boiling over) Hey, whoa! It's boiling over!

Little John: (runs over and grabs the cauldron off the fire, sets it on a large rock and waves a towel over it to get rid of the smoke) You're burin' the chow!

Robin Hood: (brushes black soot off his shirt) Sorry, Johnny. Guess I was thinking about Maid Marien and the fun we used to have before we were both sent away by our parents.

Little John: I get it, Rob, but she lives in the palace with Prince John, and there's no way that he's gonna let her see you for _any_ reason.

Robin Hood: I know, I know. I'm an outlaw and there's no changing that.

Fiar Tuck: (enters the area and hears this) Oh, for heaven's sake, son! (he startles Robin Hood, who falls into the laundry basket and a shirt falls on his head, and Little John nearly drops the cauldron) You're no outlaw. Why, someday you'll be called a great hero.

Robin Hood: (sits up and takes the shirt off his head, chuckles) A hero? Do you hear that, Johnny? We've just been pardoned.

Little John: (snickers) That's a gas. We ain't even been arrested yet.

Fiar Tuck: (rolls his eyes and picks up a spoon to sample the food) All right. Laugh, you two rogues. But there's gonna be a big to do in Nottingham. (he tastes the food and starts to cough as tears leak out of his eyes at the strong taste) Well-done, ain't it? Old Prince John's having' a championship archery tournament tomorrow.

Little John: (laughs) Archery tournament? Old Rob could win that standing' on his head, huh, Rob?

Robin Hood: (chuckles and bow) Thank you, Little John, but I"m sure we're not invited. Although, this could give us a chance to pull a prank on Prince John.

Little John: What _kind_ of prank, Rob? Because, that place is going to be _crawlin'_ with soldiers. Heck, Prince John is probably expecting you to show up.

Robin Hood: _Exactly,_ and when I do show up for my greatest performance ever, Ol' Prince John won't even see it coming!

Little John: Well then, Robby. You'd better get some work done if you wanna WIN this Archery Tournament. Though, I don't know if it's gonna be easy.

Alan A Dale: (seemingly appearing out of nowhere behind a tree) Little John is right!

Robin Hood: (gets startled again) What the? Where'd YOU come from?

Alan A Dale: Don't question how us storytellers manage to appear out of nowhere one place to another. It's in my nature.

Robin Hood: (confused) Storyteller?

Alan A Dale: Anyway, I'm with Little John on this. This Championship Archery Tournament is probably gonna be tough even for you, Robin.

Robin Hood: (scoffs) Pfft, are you kidding? This is the one and only legendary Robin Hood you're talking to here. Nothing could ever be THAT tough for me. I can handle ANYTHING.

Alan A Dale: (ignoring Robin Hood) To make matters worse, considering who's decided to arrange this tournament according to what the Friar here said, and because I happen to know everything that happens before it happens, this contest is SURELY a trap laid by that villainous Prince John!

Little John: See, Robby? I told ya that place is gonna be crawlin' with soldiers and that Prince John's probably expecting ya to show up.

Alan A Dale: Still, if you still feel brave enough to pull this prank on the prince and show up and the archery tournament to show off your skills, you'll have to be at the TOP of your game this time.

Robin Hood: Ahh, you're right, you two. I guess the thought of pulling a prank on that ol' prince and winning the tournament got me ahead of myself. Does anyone want to help?

Friar Tuck: (walks to the line of laundry) Of course! First, you'll need a disguise. It must be SO good that even WE won't recognise you!

Little John: Leave the training to me and Alan. IF ya think you can handle it, hotshot!

Robin Hood: Aw come on, Johnny. You heard what I said to Alan. I can handle ANYTHING.

* * *

*Cut to a montage of training as a song called ''We're Gonna Need A Montage'' plays in the background. First, Little John and Alan A Dale hang a target in the middle of two trees by hooking it up to two tree branches (see the comic yourself if you wanna see how they do that because I don't have a good way of explaining it in detail) while Robin Hood, bow and arrow in his hands, is standing on a tree branch on a tree not too far but just facing the target getting ready to shoot.*

Little John: (just finishing hanging up the target with Alan by hooking it up to two tree branches) Are you sure you're up to this, Rob? This will be tricky!

Robin Hood: Ha! From here, it's easy. (Climbs up onto another tree branch above the one he was standing on and jumps off it upside down as he shoots his bow and arrow) But from here, is ANOTHER story! (Lands on a black bouncy soft landing with square holes thingy/whatever it's called that Little John and Alan A Dale had placed) Oof!

*And according to the comic, the arrow somehow manages to hit the bullseye which of course surprises/amazes Little John and Alan A Dale.*

Alan A Dale: Hmm. He just might pull this off.

Little John: Oh, we're not done training just yet.

* * *

*Later on near a steep hill where Robin Hood is ready with his bow and arrow, Little John finds three targets and rolls them down the hill hoping that Robin can land his arrow on all three of the bullseyes.*

Little John: And...GO!

*Hey, guess what? Despite the targets rolling down the hill, Robin actually DOES manage to land his arrows on the bullseyes so perfectly.*

Little John: Whoa! I didn't think you'd do that so well.

Robin Hood: Ha! Easy as pie. What's next?

Little John: Well...

* * *

*We cut to a little stream where the next part of Robin's training takes place. Robin Hood is on a wooden river raft where from there he has to shoot three arrows onto three targets that have been placed onto the land in front of him. And if you've seen the comic that this is based off or you're looking at whilst reading this (I hope it's the latter), you'll know that this is definitely a little difficult for Robin as he's struggling to stay on the raft while the waves keep coming and making things tricky and he's already accidentally fired three arrows onto three trees instead of the placed targets.*

Robin Hood: Uh, guys?

Alan A Dale and Little John: Yeah?

Robin Hood: Remember when I said that I could handle ANYTHING?

Alan A Dale: Yes. I do recall you saying that once or twice earlier. Why?

Robin Hood: Well, isn't this part of training a little...well, you know...TOO difficult?

Little John: You wanna win that tournament or not?

Robin Hood: Okay, okay! I do!

Alan A Dale: Alright. We'll start this one over from the...

Robin Hood: HOLD ON THEN! (Struggles to stay on the raft again as more waves start coming back) Just...one...second...

*So, what happens? Well, due to the difficulty caused by being on a raft on a raging wave filled stream (blame Little John and Alan A Dale for that because it was they're idea), Robin's arrows had missed the first two placed target's bullseyes whereas his last arrow landed PERFECTLY on the last placed target's bullseye. Yeah, even Little John and Alan A Dale finally admit they made the training a little too hard so they move on.*

(Some training, isn't it?)

* * *

*We cut to much, much, much later on where Robin, Little John and Alan A Dale have reached the final part of they're training. And you can thank the two trainers it's an easy one this time. Robin Hood has to shoot his arrow onto a target that is hanging between two trees again while standing on a tightrope that is being pulled by Little John and Alan A Dale to help Robin aim well. Robin has already landed one of his arrows perfectly on the bullseye but he's not that impressed.*

Robin Hood: A little more jostle, mates. I got that one TOO easily. (Little John and Alan A Dale pull back on the tightrope a bit) There we go! (Shoots his arrow onto the target's bullseye splitting his other arrow apart) Perfect!

* * *

*Later on, Robin Hood, Little John and Alan A Dale take a well deserved rest after all of that training just as Friar Tuck appears with a stork costume in his hands.*

Friar Tuck: How'd you do, boys?

Little John: Aw, Tuck, it was GREAT! You should've SEEN all the crazy stunts we pulled off!

Robin Hood: Well, some of them were tricky, but it worked out just fine in the end. How's that disguise I'll to wear at the tournament coming along, good sir?

Friar Tuck: Well...ahem...(shows Robin the stork disguise in one hand and two stilts in the other hand) do you think you can do all of that again on STILTS?

Robin Hood: WHAT?! AGAIN?! ON STILTS?! (collapses from exhuastion)

* * *

A/N: And that's a wrap! See you all on Tuesday! R&R everyone!


	6. Chapter 6: The Archery Tournament Part 1

A/N: Hey there, Roleplayer48! I haven't yet read that comic that you recommended as I just barely got home from my art class, plus I was work this morning, and so this is the first time I've been online today, well tonight I should say. Anyway, I'm glad this rewrite is working out for the both of us, and Sunny Bunny's remedies are helping with my bum toe. FYI, it wasn't broken, but it was swollen in a bad way, but it's recovering quite nicely.

* * *

Chapter 6: The Archery Tournament (Part 1)

*Ah. The next day. But not just ANY day like any other. Nope. It's the day of the Championship Archery Tournament! And here we are at...a...fieldly looking unnamed...location far from the town...okay, I have NO idea where this place is. Do you? Anyway, on top of two towers are six elephants (3 each on one respective tower) using they're trunks to make a fanfare as a bunch of Rhino Guards (including the dumb Derek from Chapter 2) parade into the field as various kids and villagers following from behind gathering to watch the tournament, hoping all goes well. Cut to the king's stand where Prince John (now wearing BLUE robes because his RED ones from earlier in the film were stolen by Robin Hood) and Sir Hiss are sitting in they're respective chairs, for you see, just as Little John and Alan A Dale feared, this tournament is really a plot! DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!*

* * *

Prince John: (chuckles to himself) Hiss, today is the swellest day in a while to come. In fact, this is a red-letter day. A coup d'etat, to coin a Norman phrase.

Sir Hiss: Oh, oh, yes indeed, sire. I must say, it was a really swell idea of yours to set up this trap.

Prince John: Indeed. Most definitely. Robin Hood will be called a coward. And we know he will accept the challenge to prove he's not.

Sir Hiss: Yep. This plan to capture Robin Hood in public is sheer genius. That's all I can say. Sheer GENIUS! (Laughs while jumping higher in his seat)

Prince John: (notices Hiss sitting higher than him) Ahem. Hiss, how many times do I have to keep telling you? No one, I repeat, NO ONE sits higher than the king. Which is me, of course. (Presses Hiss back down in his seat) Must I keep reminding you over and over again, Hiss? Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

(No one sits higher than the king, huh? Now, I never considered this before, but thinking about it now, don't you find it strange that Prince John doesn't like Hiss sitting higher than him but he's okay with Little John, dressed up as Sir Reginald, sitting higher than him with no problem? Be honest. It would make Applejack proud if you were. Trust me.*

Sir Hiss: (apologies) Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, sire. Do forgive me. I-I didn't mean to. I was only trying to help.

Prince John: (ignores Hiss) My trap is now baited and all set...and then revenge! Ah, (yells at the top of his kingly lungs) REVENGE!

Sir Hiss: Shh! Not so loud there, sire. Remember, only you and I know, (begins hissing in Prince John's ear again like in Chapter 2) and you're s-s-s-secret is MY s-s-s-secret.

Prince John: (pushes the snake away when the tongue tickles in his ear) Stop! (Giggles) Stop hissing in my ear! Wait, secret? Errr...WHAT secret are you referring to exactly there, Hissy? I'm confused.

Sir Hiss: Why, none other than the capture of Robin Hood, sire.

Prince John: That insolent, no good, money stealing, poor helping blackguard. OOH! I'll show that pesky outlaw who wears the crown around here!

Sir Hiss: I share your loathing, sire. And I couldn't agree more with you. That scurrilous scoundrel who fooled you with that silly fortune teller disguise who dared to rob you and made you look so utterly RIDICULOUS by taking away your red robe and leaving you in nothing left but your UNDERWEAR!

Prince John: (tries to punch Sir Hiss but misses) ENOUGH! Hiss, you deliberately dodged me.

Sir Hiss: (getting nervous) But...b-b-but...sire. Please, not another bonk on the noggin. I beg you. You know it gives me a headache.

Prince John: Stop snivelling and hold still.

*Sir Hiss braces himself as Prince John once again hits him on the head.*

Sir Hiss: (dazed) Thank you, sire. Really appreciate it.

* * *

*Cut to Maid Marian and Lady Kluck who have just now arrived to the tournament, chatting to each other about this and that as they try to find they're seats.*

Maid Marian: Oh Klucky, I'm so excited that we've been invited to come and watch this archery tournament. Do you think Robin Hood will show up? I know how much he LOVES archery.

Lady Kluck: Maybe he will, maybe he won't. And if he does, he'll have to be crafty. Remember who it was who arranged this tournament in the first place. This could be a trap for your childhood friend.

Maid Marian: Oh yes. Thanks for reminding me, Klucky. I'd almost forgotten. Though, here's a thought. If he enters this tournament wearing a disguise, how will I ever recognise him?

Lady Kluck: Oh, don't worry about that. He'll let you know somehow. That young rogue of yours is full of surprises, my dear.

* * *

*Unknown to the ladies, Robin Hood (almost fully dressed into his stork disguise) and Little John (wearing a duke's costume) are spying on them in the bushes.*

Robin Hood: Well, what do ya know, Johnny? It's my childhood friend, Maid Marian! I haven't seen her since our parents separated us and she had to go to London! What a surprise seeing her here!

Little John: (pulls Robin back) Cool it, Robby boy. If Maid Marian's here, it must be part of Prince John's trap. You gotta be careful. Remember? Besides, you didn't let me finish puttin' your disguise on. (Ties the false beak to the back of Robin's head)

Robin Hood: Ah, yes. Thanks for the reminder, Johnny. I'd almost forgotten for a second. But there's no need to worry about a thing. This disguise would fool my own mother.

Little John: Yeah. The only problem with that is that yo mama ain't here. Which means you've got to fool ol' bushel britches over there. (Gestures to the Sheriff of Nottingham who is also entering the tournament for some reason)

Robin Hood: Say, what is that old Sheriff even doing here anyway? Why would HE want to enter this tournament?

Little John: Probably to be a show off to the prince and his dumb rhino/elephant/hippo/wolf guards. Go on then, Rob. That's your cue.

Robin Hood: Oh! Right! Wish me luck! (Walks up to the a Sheriff and changes his voice a little bit) Sheriff? Your honour?

Sheriff: (surprised to be greeted by this strange ''stork'') Uh...yeah. That's me.

Robin Hood: Ya know, let me just take this moment to say that meetin' ya face-to-face is one heck of a real treat. A real treat.

Sheriff: Well now, thank you. That's really swell to hear. Oh, excuse me. I gotta go win this tournament. I'll give you my autograph later.

Little John: (impressed) Hey, old Rob's not a bad actor. Not a bad one at all at that. But he ain't seen nothin' yet. Just wait until he sees this scene I lay on Prince John. (Walks his way to Prince John's throne) Ah! Me lord! My esteemed royal sovereign of the realm. The head man himself. You're beautiful.

Prince John: (chuckles) He has style, eh Hiss? This guy really tickles my fancy if you know what I mean. (Begins speaking french for some stupid reason) ''Du savoir faire il y a n'est ce pas'', Hiss?

Little John: (laughs) I haven't a clue what you just now said in french, but ya took the words right outta my mouth there, PJ.

Prince John: ''PJ''? I like that. Do you know I do? It has a pretty nice to ring to it. Hiss, put that on my luggage. PJ! (Uncontrollable laughter which annoys Sir Hiss) PJ. Yes.

(Hmm. Why do I feel like I used that line from Prince John on Princess Luna in our Luna Eclipsed rewrite? Dede42: You did use that in the Luna Eclipsed rewrite.)

Sir Hiss: Hmpf! And you? Just who might you be to barge in out of nowhere like that, sir?

Little John: Why, I'd be none other than Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney. And don't stick your tongue out at me like that and put that thing back in your mouth, kid. (Puts Hiss's hat in his mouth) And now, your mightiness. Allow me to lay some protocol on you. (Nearly kisses Prince John's hand as if he's about to do the same jewels in mouth trick from earlier on in this film/fanfic)

Prince John: (pulls his hand away) Uh, no. Uh, forgive me, but uh, I lose more jewels that way when people kiss my hand. I've already had that happen to me once and well, I don't want the same thing happening to me twice in one week. Heh. So sorry. (Nervous laughter) Please, do sit down.

Little John: (sits down on Hiss's chair) Thank you kindly, PJ. Couldn't get a better seat than this, could ya? The royal box. I...oh! Hey! Wait a minute! Wha-what am I sitting on? (Realising he's sitting on Sir Hiss) Oh, uh, excuse me, buster. So terribly sorry about that.

Sir Hiss: (indignantly) Buster?! BUSTER?! Why of all the nerve! You, ''sir'', have taken MY seat!

Prince John: (breaks out into uncontrollable laughter with Little John) Oh Hiss, with you around, who needs a court jester?!

Little John: Ho-ho, not me. That's for sure.

Prince John: Yeah! Me neither! (Bursts into even MORE uncontrollable laughter as Hiss just stares at the camera with a depressed looking face) AHA! (That's his laugh from earlier again) Now then, Hiss. (Stares at himself in a tiny replica of his mother's mirror) Get out there right now and keep your snake eyes open for you know who if you know who it is I'm referring to.

Sir Hiss: (whimpering) W-w-w-w-w-wha-what? Y-y-y-y-you m-m-m-mean I'm b-b-b-being (gulps) dismissed?

Little John: You heard his mightiness, didn't ya, bub? You know how he can't stand repeating himself to you. Move it, creepy. (Drops Sir Hiss) Go away. Get lost. I am better than you. Be gone, long one. See ya later, alligator.

Sir Hiss: (slithers away while mumbling to himself) What cheek! ''Creepy''?! ''Buster''?! ''Long one''?! ''ALLIGATOR''?! OOH! Why I oughta...do...SOMETHING! Honestly, who does that dopey duke think he is anyway to show up out of nowhere and humiliate me like that? (Slithers past Alan A Dale and Friar Tuck)

Friar Tuck: (notices Sir Hiss) Sir Hiss? Now where in the name of our beloved God is HE off to?

Alan A Dale: Wherever he's going, Friar, he could be up to no good or something.

Friar Tuck: Yeah. He could try to ruin Robin's chance at winning without that Prince John catching him. Come on, Alan.

* * *

A/N: And that's it for this chapter. See you all tomorrow! Bye! ;) R&R everyone!


	7. Chapter 7: The Archery Tournament Part 2

A/N: Sorry for the miss understanding with the note yesterday. I had a lot on my mind at the time.

* * *

Chapter 7: The Archery Tournament (Part 2)

*The competition is now underway as the players are marching their way towards the field and...wait...what's this? A RHINO GUARD joining the tournament? Oh, that will probably be the dimwitted Derek from Chapter 2/The Fortune Teller Scene joining for no reason like the Sheriff's reason for joining the tournament. Anyway, while the players of the archery tournament march their way toward the field, The Friar and the minstrel are looking for Hiss. But he's so small, he could be anywhere.*

Alan A Dale: Nope. No sign of him down there. Any luck, Tuck? Oh hey, I rhymed! I'm a poet and I didn't even know it!

Friar Tuck: No, sorry. I don't see him eith...(le gasp) Alan! Look! There he is!

Alan A Dale: What? Where?

Friar Tuck: There!

*They see Hiss stuck inside one of Otto's free balloons floating upward into the air and using his tail as a propeller and gliding away.*

Friar Tuck: Hurry Alan! He's gettin' away! (Chases off after the flying Snake)

Alan A Dale: Hey wait! Slow down! I can't keep up with ya that fast! After all, I AM only a rooster!

* * *

*At the throne, we see Maid Marian and Lady Kluck bowing/curtsying to Prince John nervously (knowing how evil he really was) as the players begin making their way down to the starting point, and among them is the Sheriff (who is joining this tournament for no real reason other than either to move the story forward or because he wants to show off to Prince John and his guards) and Robin Hood who is still in his stork disguise. Robin Hood sees Marian in the royal box and goes up to greet her.*

Robin Hood: Ah, your ladyship. Beggin' your pardon, but it's a great honour to meet a nice, friendly looking lady like yourself before the tournament begins. (Hands Marian a daisy for a present) Psst, Marian. Don't tell the prince sitting next to you, but it's really me, Robin Hood! (Winks to her)

Maid Marian: Oh! Well, nice to meet you, my thin-legged archer. (Chuckles and then begins whispering) Good luck, Robin. Do you think maybe once the tournament's over, I can drop by your place and have some fun with you and Little John the same way we used to as kids?

Robin Hood: Heh. I'm sure the three of us together will have a crazy time.

Sir Hiss: (suspicious) Hmmm… most peculiar. (Begins propelling away)

Friar Tuck: (tries to grab Hiss but misses) No, wait! D'oh, I missed! Come back here you, slippery serpent!

Sir Hiss: (calling down from above the sky) Not gonna happen, church boy!

Friar Tuck: Ooh! That stupid...

Alan A Dale: It's no good, Tuck. We'll never get him like this.

Friar Tuck: (thinking of an idea) Unless...(pulls out an arrow seemingly out of nowhere) Come on, Alan. I have an idea.

* * *

*Then a crocodile walks up to the royal box and presents a golden arrow for the winner resting on a pillow to Prince John*

Captain Crocodile: Your Highness, with your royal permission, we are ready to begin.

Prince John: Proceed, Captain. Let the games begin!

Captain Crocodile: (announces) Alright, archers! You heard what he said! The tournament of the golden arrow will now begin in 3, 2, 1!

* * *

*The crowd cheers as the elephant trumpeters once again blew their fanfare causing the still in a balloon Sir Hiss to blows him away! Well, too bad for him. Back on the ground, the archers fire their arrows at the targets and the crowd cheers them on and...you know what? This is probably gonna take some time to explain in detail what happens just like the original film in this part and I'll probably end up sounding like an annoying sports commentator that constantly states the obvious so I'll just skip ahead to right here where the Sheriff fires HIS arrow which hits the bullseye causing the audience to boo!*

Sheriff: (in response to the non-Halloween booing from the audience) Oh please! It's not like any of YOU can do better than ME!

*Boy, that Sheriff just doesn't know how wrong he is, doesn't he? Because here comes Robby! He shoots, he scores! Now this certainly surprises Sir Hiss and causes him to get even MORE suspicious! This perfect bullseye from Robin (in his stork disguise) causes Maid Marian to join in clapping with the audience.*

Prince John: A perfect bullseye. Well, well.

Little John: Yeah. That's what ya call ''pullin' it back and lettin' it go'', PJ.

Prince John: Hmm. Not a bad slogan there, Reggie.

Little John: Well, you know. As a duke, I try.

* * *

*Back to Robin Hood and the Sheriff*

Robin Hood: I'm gonna win that golden arrow, add it to my collection of golden trophies I already have at home later today, have myself a spot of posh British dinner with that friendly Maid Marian and...

Sheriff: Now, listen here, scissorbill. If you can shoot… HALF as good as you blabbermouth and all that, you're better'n that wanted outlaw, Robin Hood.

Robin Hood: Comparing me to Robin Hood? Wow-wee! (Slaps the Sheriff on his back) Heh. Well, I may be tiptop like most archers who joined here today, but I don't think I'm as good as he is. (Shoots his arrow and hits the bullseye perfectly again which made the Sheriff gape in disbelief and Sir Hiss even MORE than suspicious than before.)

Little John: Ha-ha. Well, what do ya know about that? That kid sure does have class, don't he, PJ?

Prince John: (getting suspicious) Hmm? What did you say? Oh yes! Of course! Indeed he has there, Reggie. (Chuckles) Bravo! Uh, bravo! Yes. Heh.

Little John: (thinks to himself) Uh-oh. I don't like the look on his face there.

* * *

*Back to Robin Hood as he examines his arrow*

Robin Hood: Oh, uh, bye the way, Sheriff. I hear you, the prince and your henchmen are having a few little problems and some trouble getting your big bad wolf like hands on that Robin Hood fellow. Is that true?

Sheriff: Trouble? Nah! He's just scared of me. That's what he is. Too chicken to mess with the likes of me. Say, did you notice that he didn't show up here to this tournament today? That's not like the Robin Hood I know since archery is his favourite sport. Though I gotta say, storky, if he was here right here right now, I bet I could spot him through whatever phony disguise he wears.

Sir Hiss: (sneaks up behind Robin Hood and sees right through his disguise) Well, what do you know? It's him! It's Robin Hood! I found him! (Chuckles as he flies his way back to the royal box) Boy, is Prince John gonna be pleased with me when I tell him who this stork really is?

* * *

*On the ground, Friar Tuck puts the arrow he found seemingly out of nowhere into Alan's guitar and pulls back on the string like a crossbow and launches it at Sir Hiss.*

Alan A Dale: Are you sure this will work?

Sir Hiss: (gasps in shock as the arrow pops the balloon) GAH! WHAT THE?! WHO POPPED MY BALLOON?! I...uh-oh. (Screams as he falls back down)

Friar Tuck: You were saying, Alan?

Alan A Dale: Oh, never mind. Your plan worked. That's all that matters now.

Friar Tuck: Good. (Catches the falling snake) GOTCHA! (Shoves him into a barrel of ALE) You've done enough for one day, Hissy boy.

Sir Hiss: Unhand me this instant you no good...(gets sealed inside the barrel as Friar plugs up the hole with a cork) Please, please! Let me out! I beg you! I don't drink! I'm not an alcoholic! I...(begins tasting it) mind you, this IS pretty taste ALE. I can see why others like it. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a few sips more. (begins drinking a lot)

* * *

*Meanwhile as Captain Crocodile pulls the two arrows from the target and begins announcing again.*

Captain Crocodile: Ahem. Attention everyone! Before we end the tournament for this year, the final contestants are none other than...drumroll please, Mr. Hippo? (The hippo with the drums gives the Captain a drumroll as requested)...the Honourable Sheriff of Nottingham!

Sheriff: Hey! That's me! (Steps out and takes a bow only to get more boos from the audience) Thank you! Thank you...HEY! Just be glad I'm not taking your taxes off you for once in my life this time!

Captain Crocodile: And the spindle-legged stork from Devonshire. (Everyone cheers for Robin Hood. Including Maid Marian.)

Prince John: (notices Maid Marian cheering at the ''stork'') So Marian, my dear. I suspect that you favour the gangly youth and hope for him to win this tournament, hmm?

Maid Marian: Uh, why, yes, sire. Heh. Well, you know how I feel about loveable animals and adorable creatures in the forest. They amuse me.

Prince John: You're starting to sound like that Snow White woman and her love for strange wild animals from that fairytale I've heard about.

(Or Fluttershy and HER love for animals)

Prince John: Well, my dear. Coincidently, this stork fellow amuses me too. (Evil laugh)

* * *

Captain Crocodile: FOR THE FINAL SHOOT-OUT, MOVE THE TARGET BACK 30 PACES! Psst, hippos!

The Two Drummer Hippos With No Names: Hmm?

Captain Crocodile: That's your cue for another drumroll, you dummies!

The Two Drummer Hippos With No Names: Oh! Right! Sorry Captain! (Play the drumroll as requested)

Sheriff: (Goes up to a dumb vulture who is called Nutsy) Come on then, Nutsy! You heard the crocodile's orders! Move the target back 30 paces! Get goin'! Move it, you birdbrain!

Nutsy: What? Now?! Okay, okay! I'm going! I'm going! (Goes inside the target)

Sheriff: (whispers) And remember what you're supposed to do to help me win.

Nutsy: Yes, sir Sheriff, sir. (begins to move the target back)

Sheriff: Alrighty then. Here goes nothing. (fires his arrow and Nusty still inside the target jumps up making the arrow hit the bullseye which makes the crowd, even Maid Marian, boo even MORE!) Ha. Not bad Nutsy. (Happily pats his big fat belly) Well, that shot wins the golden arrow for me to add to my collection of normal ordinary arrows I have. (Chuckles and turns to the Stork as he aims his arrow, and nudges his bow just enough to send his arrow straight into the air.)

(The crowd gasps and boos while the Stork immediately fires another arrow after the first one. The two arrows collides and the first arrow falls through the air

and hits the target, splitting the Sheriff's arrow in two. The crowd goes crazy with their cheers and the Sheriff stares in shock.)

Friar Tuck: (Cheering) Hooray! He did it, he did it, he did it!

Maid Marian: (also cheering) Alright! (hugs her in excitement) Did you see that, Klucky?

Lady Kluck: Yeah! That was amazing!

Prince John: Aha. (motions to the Captain)

Captain Crocodile: Ah. That's the signal. Right. (rubs his crocodile hands evilly) Better tell the boys. (Notices Derek standing next to him) Ah Derek. Come here for a sec, will you?

Derek (the Rhino Guard): What?

Captain Crocodile: (whispers in his ear) You know that stork who just won the tournament?

Derek (the Rhino Guard): What about him other than the fact that he won and I didn't?

Captain Crocodile: Well, (whispers in his ear some more)

Derek (the Rhino Guards): Really now?

Captain Crocodile: Mmm-hmm. And he's making his way to the royal box to reclaim his prize. Get the lads ready to seize him when he least expects it and get a move on.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Yes, sir, Mr. Crocodile, sir. (blows a whistle) Come on you rhinos! Follow that stork!

Some Other Random Rhino Guard With No Name: Since when do YOU give orders?

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Just come on so we can seize this fox in that stork disguise.

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Well how do YOU know it's really Robi...

Derek (the Rhino Guard): I don't have time for this. Just start your signature marching and follow him to the royal box already.

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Why should we listen to YOU of all people?

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Because those orders come from Prince John himself!

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Fine, fine.

* * *

A/N: And that's a wrap for this chapter. See you all on Thursday! R&R everyone!


	8. Chapter 8: Fight To The Death!

A/N: Hey, Roleplayer48, noting was preventing the postings of your reviews. I just barely got online a short time ago, and I was reading through them and collecting the stuff for this chapter, so that's why there was a delay. It's Utah, and there were cultural things that I needed to attended to, and treat my bum toe that is healing. I hope Lyra hasn't stolen Sunrise Blossom's potions again.

* * *

Chapter 8: Fight To The Death!

(Captain Crocodile signals the hippos, and they start to drum, the elephants trumpet their trunks, and the rhino soldiers do their signature march as the Stork leads the way to the royal platform and waves his bow in the air like a baton. When they reach the platform, Maid Marian holds the red velvet pillow that the golden arrow rests on.)

Prince John: (stands with an evil smile that leaves Little John concerned) Archer, I commend you, and because of your superior skill, you shall get what is coming to you.

Maid Marian: Indeed you shall. (Gives Robin the golden arrow) Here you are.

Robin Hood: (whispering) Thanks, Marian. Now let's get out of here before PJ...

Prince John: (interrupting) Our royal congratulations.

Robin Hood: (annoyed sigh) Ahem. (Regains his stork impression and begins shaking Prince John's hand wildly) Thank you kindly, Your Highness. Ya know, as I told that nice old Sheriff earlier, meetin' you face-to-face, Your High and Mighty, is one heck of a real treat.

Prince John: (yanks his paw away and makes sure that he has all his rings/jewels) RELEASE THE ROYAL FINGERS! Ah!

Robin Hood: So, uh...Marian? Sir Reginald? Let's go celebrate my victory down in Sherwood Forest...far away from here...right now...away from this ''kind'' prin...

Prince John: DON'T leave JUST yet! (Grabs his sword to tap both Robin Hood's shoulders)

Robin Hood: (gulps) I'm dead. (Forces himself to bow)

Prince John: And now, in this very moment of truth, I now name you the winner...

Little John: Uh oh.

Prince John: ...or more appropriately...(snickers then slices through Robin Hood's stork disguise revealing his true self)...THE LOSER! (Cackles as the crowd gasps and Little John, who knew this would happen, looks alarmed) Okay, boys. You know what to do.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Uhh...what?

Prince John: (sighs) Seize him.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Oh yeah. COME HERE YOU!

*The Rhino Guards jump at Robin Hood, who immediately jumps off the stilts and leads them on a merry run around the area until they all finally manage to dive at him, resulting in a dust cloud of shouts and fists. When the dust clears, Robin Hood is done up in chains.*

Prince John: I sentence you to sudden, instant and even...immediate DEATH!

Maid Marian: (begins to cry) Oh no! (Sniff) Oh!

Little John: I knew it, Rob! I just knew this was gonna happen to ya! I knew no good would come of this prank! But ya didn't listen!

Robin Hood: Okay, okay! I'm sorry, Johnny! You were right the whole time! I'll listen to you next time! I promise!

Prince John: (chuckles evily) Oh Robin, you DO realise that there isn't even going to BE a next time, right?

Maid Marian: (still crying) Please. Please, sire. I beg of you to spare his life. Please have mercy.

Prince John: Quit blubbering, emotional lady, and take your medicine like a man. Why SHOULD I spare this outlaw anyway? You don't make the rules.

Maid Marian: Rules? You're wanting to kill one of my friends!

Prince John: He is a traitor to the crown! And all traitors to the crown must _die!_

Robin Hood: (Outraged) TRAITORS TO THE CROWN? That crown belongs to King Richard. LONG LIVE KING RICHARD!

Crowd: (Shouting out) LONG LIVE KING RICHARD!

Prince John: (Shouted) ENOUGH! (Begins throwing a childish tantrum) I AM KING! KING! KING! AH! OFF WITH HIS HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD-UH!

Captain Crocodile: Psst, Mr. Hippo Drummer!

Hippo Drummer: Hmm? Oh! Right!

*The Hippo Drummer plays the tune of an execution theme as an executioner, which is a rhino that's even creepier than the other ones, was heading for Robin Hood holding his axe ready to make with the chopping of the head. Everyone in the crowd knows there's nothing they can do to stop it, and all that Marian can do is cry in the arms of her friend Lady Kluck. Until...*

Prince John: (suddenly shouting in pain) STOP! EXECUTIONER, STOP! I HAVE ALL OF A SUDDEN CHANGED MY MIND! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD YOUR AXE!

Little John: (holding a knife to Prince John's back, forcing him to withdraw his orders) Alright, you little momma's boy. I'm done playin' games with the likes of you. I have a real sharp knife here and I ain't afraid to use it. Now tell those rhinos to untie my buddy or I'll...

Prince John: B-GEEK! Sheriff, release my buddy-EEK! I mean release THE PRISONER!

Sheriff: (confused) Wait, what? Untie the prisoner? Have ya lost your marbles?

Lady Kluck: You heard what he said, bushel britches!

Prince John: SHERIFF, I make the rules! And since I'M the head ma- (gets jerked from the back by Little John as if to say ''just get on with it'') Watch where you point that knife, you MEAN thing.

Little John: Okay. That does it. (presses the knife into Prince John's back even more)

Prince John: LET HIM GO! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, LET! HIM! GO!

Lady Kluck: (cheering) YEE-HEE! LONG LIVE ROBIN HOOD! (Robin Hood frees himself as the crowd cheers with joy)

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Uhh...what...just happened? (The other rhinos just shrug)

Sheriff: I don't know myself, Derek. But one thing's for sure, there's somethin' funny goin' on around here. And I intend to find out what. Stay here. (Sneaks up to the back of the royal box)

Little John: (still holding a knife to Prince John's back) Now PJ, we're gonna be takin' our leave now. And you will swear to your very soul, if you have one, that you will forever leave Robby alone and let him be, or I've just found myself a new pin cushion.

Sheriff: WHY YOU! (Tries attacking Little John but gets uppercut by him which releases Prince John by mistake)

Prince John: KILL HIM! DON'T JUST STAND THERE! KILL HIM!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Oh, I do wish the prince would make up his mind. I'm confused enough as it is.

Prince John: I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND, YOU NIMRODS! NOW, KILL HIM!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Oh alright, fine.

*The fight begins as Little John hands Robin Hood a sword seemingly out of nowhere for him to use to fight back the rhino guards. This unfortunatley leaves Little John WITHOUT a weapon and all he's using to fight the rhinos with is a brown pole/stick. Well, it's better than nothing because Little John manages to fight them just fine. Especially if he uses it to poke them in they're tummies making them groan in pain, which he just now did to Derek. Meanwhile, Robin is still fighting against the other rhinos and Prince John is just about to strike with the sword he had in his paw earlier right behind him when...*

Robin Hood: Think fast, PJ! (Kicks the sword out of Prince John's hands with HIS sword)

Prince John: (beginning to panic) Don't hurt me!, No, no! Don't hurt me! Help! Help! (Runs from the royal box and hides behind the same barrel of ALE that Sir Hiss is still trapped in) KILL HIM!

(I just find it really funny that Prince John wants to hurt/kill Robin Hood but PANICS when the sword is directed toward HIM and begs Robin NOT to hurt/kill him! What a crybaby.)

Lady Kluck: Make a run for it, lassie! (Maid Marian does as she says) This is NO place for a lady!

Maid Marian: (pauses running in confusion) ...but...aren't YOU a lady?

Lady Kluck: No, I'm a girl chicken! Now go!

Maid Marian: Alright, alright! (Runs for it again, being careful not to trip on her long dress...or bloomers because of how long they are)

Lady Kluck: (walks up behind Derek who is still battling with Little John) TAKE THIS! (Pokes Derek in the butt with the golden arrow causing him to scream like Tom Cat) I think he's got the point. (Rimshot)

Sheriff: (grabs Lady Kluck's arms from behind her) GOTCHA! Now I...(Lady Kluck grabs HIS arm)...wait...what are you doing? (Gets flung over her shoulder) WHOA! OOF!

Lady Kluck: Take that, you scoundrel.

Maid Marian: (being chased by three wolf archers) HELP! (Stops to look behind her to see if she's still being chased when she SHOULD be RUNNING!) ROBIN, HELP!

*In a daring rescue, Robin Hood swings down from a large rope, grabbing the fair maiden and carries her to safety on top of Prince John's royal box.*

Robin Hood: So, uh, how was your day?

Maid Marian: Oh, you know, the usual. Going to an Archery Tournament, begging the prince not to kill you, running for my life from three wolf archers with a big long pointy arrow in they're hands, same as always. (The two of them fall through the high top curtain and land right on Prince John's throne) Oof!

Wolf Archer With A Sword 1: (begins sword fighting Robin Hood) Your luck runs out, Mr. Nice Guy.

Robin Hood: I didn't think you wolves could sword fight at all! I thought all you did was shooting with your bows and arrows nonstop!

Wolf Archer With A Sword 1: Well, maybe we wanted to try something completely different to make us feel more SPECIAL!

Wolf Archer With A Sword 2: Wait, we're NOT special?

Robin Hood: Oh, of course. How stupid of me. If you REALLY wanna feel special, you'd better take this special throne then.

All Wolf Archers With Swords: NO! DON'T! (Too late! Robin pushes the throne onto them causing them to get squashed) OW!

Robin Hood: Ha! Too easy. Bet you couldn't do that.

Maid Marian: I don't even think I'd even dare. I can't even sword fight at all! (Both laugh)

*Meanwhile, Lady Kluck is being chased by three hippos while Little John is STILL fighting with the rhino guards and forcing them into a small yellow-striped orange tent.*

Little John: Ooh, what a main event this is. (Laughs to himself)

Lady Kluck: (rushes into the tent from the other side with the hippos still chasing her forcing Little John out the front) 'Scuse me! Coming through!

Little John: Ho, this is startin' to get tense here. What a beautiful brawl! (Forces his way back into the tent at the same time Lady Kluck is kicked out the back by Derek)

Lady Kluck: Oof! Ooh, now I'll show you! (Pokes Derek in the butt again causing all the rhinos and hippos inside the tent to run blindly as Little John peers out the top)

Little John: Hm. This feels more relaxing. Kinda feels like riding on a choo choo train. (Realises something) WHAT A MINUTE! WHO'S EVEN DRIVIN' THIS FLYIN' UMBRELLA?!

(Well, it's definitely not Mary Poppins. That's for sure. You get the joke? Flying UMBRELLA? Mary Poppins? Huh, huh? Why is no one laughing at that joke?)

*While the crowd try to run away from the runaway tent as quickly as they possibly can, Robin Hood takes on sword fighting with Captain Crocodile near a pie stand where Trigger (a vulture that's a LOT smarter than Nutsy) sells pies.*

Maid Marian: Robin, when we get out of here, will you teach me how to use a sword?

Robin Hood: Of course I can!

Maid Marian: Wonderful! (picks up a pie and throws it in the face Captain Crocodile): Take that!

Captain Crocodile: Hey! Stop that!

Trigger: (appears from out of the pie stand) Say hello to my little friend called ''Ol' Betsy''! (Fires ''Ol' Betsy'' at Robin who ducks as the arrow bounces back at him after hitting Captian Crocodile's shield) YIPE! (Ducks as the arrow strikes the sign in the stand)

Maid Marian: Take that! (Throws a pie at Trigger's face and breaks down laughing with Robin)

Trigger: Okay, was a pie to the face REALLY necessary? I...wait a minute. What's that funny rumbling noise? (The runaway tent bursts through the pie stand as many of Trigger's pies fly right into Little John's face) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Captain Crocodile: (winces) This fighting is getting us nowhere. And the chaos is only making things worse. I'd better calm everyone down.

Robin Hood: Oh, so you give up? Am I free to go for now?

Captain Crocodile: Yeah, sure, fine, whatever. (Runs up to the centre of the field) Attention, everyone! (Gets run over by the runaway tent as Trigger lands on his back) D'OW! (Groaning in pain) Now I know what getting run over by a real train feels like.

Trigger: You're telling me. (Coughs)

(And Nutsy and Trigger will never be seen in this movie/fanfic ever again until much later on in the movie starting from the Jailbreak scene. Isn't it weird that certain characters get a certain amount of screentime or speaking roles or scenes to themselves at certain points of this movie and then either do or don't show up again at all later on as if the animators and script writers completley forgot they're even exist. Take Skippy and the kids for example. They only get like only TWO scenes such as Skippy's birthday, meeting Maid Marian and then that's it. Just cameo apperances later. Though Skippy does get a few lines near the end but that's not the point. And speaking of Maid Marian, after the Phony King of England song, she and Lady Kluck don't appear in the movie for a long time until the ending! Did you notice that? And then there's Otto who only has ONE scene all to himself and only shows up later as a cameo in a crowd of poor people throughout the rest of the film. Weird, isn't it, Dede42? Any thoughts you'd like to share on this matter?)

Sheriff: Uh, where did everybody go? (Notices the runaway tent heading his way) OH SWEET MERCY! LEG IT!

*The Sheriff tries to get away from the runaway tent by running as fast as he possibly can...which isn't really that fast at all considering his weight. But the tent eventually catches him along with Prince John's throne.*

Sheriff: (eyes Little John) Uh, how do you stop this thing?

Little John: That's what I've literally been asking myself the whole time, bushel britches. (Suddenly notices where the runaway tent is headed) Uh oh.

Sheriff: What?

Little John: We're headin' straight toward those two stone pillars that the trumpeting elephants stand on!

Sheriff: Oh no! Uh, Little John? I know it may against my better judgement to ask YOU of all people for help, but can you help me get off this thing before we cras...

Little John: (jumps away from the moving tent to rejoin Robin and the others) Sorry, Sheriff. You're on your own. I'm outta here!

Sheriff: Wait! No! Come back!

Elephant Trumpeter 1: 'Ere, mate. Do you see what I see?

Elephant Trumpeter 2: Hmm. Looks to me like a moving tent.

Elephant Trumpeter 1: Looks to me like we've been standing up on these stone pillars near the sun too long and we're seeing things.

Elephant Trumpeter 2: Are you sure about that, mate? For a hallucination from being in the sun too long, it's pretty loud and it looks like it's about to crash into us.

Elephant Trumpeter 1: Are your eyes working properly, bro? It's clearly going AROUND us.

Elephant Trumpeter 2: (sighs in relief) Phew. That's a relief. (Hears a train whistle seemingly from the runaway tent and jumps onto the other elephant) AH! Okay, NOW it's going to crash into us!

Elephant Trumpeter 1: You mean it's NOT a hallucination from being up here near the sun too long?

Elephant Trumpeter 2: No! Brace yourself!

*The runaway tent crashes right into the stone pillars making it falling to pieces as our heroes try to get out of the way.*

Both Elephant Trumpeters: (falling from the collapsing pillars) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- (land in the spilled pile or rubble) Oof!

Elephant Trumpeter 1: Hey! Robin's getting away! Oi, you! Don't just sit there! Do something! Sound the alarm!

Elephant Trumpeter 2: Oh, right. Gotcha. (Sounds his trumpet but gets silenced by Lady Kluck who squeezes his trunk)

Lady Kluck: AHHHHHHHHHHH, SHUT UP!

Prince John: (still hiding behind the barrel of ALE) STOP THE GIRL!

Skippy: (aims his bow and arrow at Prince John's butt) Alright, Skippy. You can do this. Remember, it's about stayin' focused ON YOUR GOAL! (Fires his arrow which hits Prince John's butt as planned)

Prince John: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW!

Lady Kluck: (smacks PJ on the head with the golden arrow) TAKE THAT, YOU SCURVY KNAVE!

Prince John: Who hit me on me noggin? I...(notices Lady Kluck) YOU! RHINO GUARDS! SEIZE THE FAT ONE!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Ooh! Can we tackle her like we're playing Amercian Football?

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Derek, how can you think of something so STUPID like an American sport at a time like THIS?!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): I practice.

Prince John: JUST SEIZE THAT CHICKEN ALREADY! 'Cause I'M certainly not gonna waste my time trying.

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Oh, okay, Derek. American Football tackling with Lady Kluck it is.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): YAY!

(The rhino guards charges toward Lady Kluck like a bunch of linebackers and when she sees this, she grabs up a small barrel, tucks it under one wing, and she charges forward like a quarterback. Despite the differences of size, she manages to send the rhino guards flying left and right, and she does a victory dance when she reaches the edge of the woods.)

Lady Kluck: (cheers again) LONG LIVE KING RICHARD! YEEEE-HOOO!

Prince John: DON'T MENTION THAT NAME!

Little John: Come on, Klucky! We gotta vamoose! (Grabs Lady Kluck and retreats into the forest as a bunch of randomly fired arrows miss our heroes and hit the trees instead)

Prince John: (still kneeling near the barrel of ALE) HISS! YOU'RE NEVER AROUND WHEN I NEED YOU! (Sigh) Where could he be? I haven't seen him since I told him to leave the royal bo...

Sir Hiss: (from inside the ALE barrel) I'm on my way, sire. I'll be with you in a minute. (Hic!) Oh, this is the best ALE I've ever drunk! (Chuckles) Oh, for I'm a jolly good fellow. For I'm a jolly good fellow. For I'm a jolly good felloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow! Which nobody can deny!

Prince John: I can deny it. (Removes the cork from the barrel) Come on out of there, you!

Sir Hiss: (slithers right out) Cuckoo! (Notices Prince John) Oh! Oh, there you are, old boy! I've been (Hic!) looking all over the place for you! (Hic!)

Prince John: (Facepalms) Hiss, why have you been in that barrel getting drunk?

Sir Hiss: It's a (Hic!) long story, Johnny Boy! But I have some brill-(Hic!)-iant news you're absolutely (Hic!) going to love!

Prince John: (sigh) What is it.

Sir Hiss: Well, PJ. You may not believe what I'm (Hic!) about to tell you, but the (Hic!) stork is really Robin Hood!

Prince John: (growling) Robin Hood?

Sir Hiss: (drunkly nods and chuckles) Aren't you (Hic!) proud of me?

Prince John: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Grabs Sir Hiss and ties him to a pole) Get out of that if you can, Captain Obvious.

* * *

A/N: Yup, I say that this chapter is _finally_ wrapped up. See you on Tuesday! R&R everyone!


	9. Chapter 9: The Phony King Of England

A/N: I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling well, Roleplayer48, and I hope you get better sooner. Anyway, I'll see what I can come up with to replace the love song, and I think I already know what to do.

* * *

Chapter 9: Fun talking/The Phony King Of England/Prince John Finds Out

*Ah, what a beautiful evening here in Sherwood Forest. The stars are out. The moon is full. The fireflies are flying around everywhere.*

Firefly 1: I still can't believe that big bear in a weird fortune teller looking disguise TRAPPED us in that crystal ball!

Firefly 2: Yeah. What are we? Pets?

Firefly 3: I agree with you. I mean, I know we're pretty at night but COME ON!

*Oooooooooooookay, talking fireflies...weird. Anyway, Robin Hood and Maid Marian walk together through the woods, and they are happy to have escape from the rhino guards.*

Maid Marian: It's wonderful to see you again, Robin.

Robin Hood: I'm happy to see you again, too, Marian. How have you been doing since we last saw each other?

Maid Marian: I've been doing well, but I missed the fun we used to have before our parents sent us to different places.

Robin Hood: I've missed the fun we used to have, too. Like sneaking a frog into the kitchen and scaring the cook?

Maid Marian: (laughs) Oh yes, and dropping ice down the back of Little John's shirt to make him jump around in such a funny manner?

Robin Hood: (laughs) Exactly, why can't we go back to that kind of life?

Maid Marian: I really don't know.

Friar Tuck: (pops out from behind a bush and cheers loudly surprising Robin and Marian) SURPRISE! LONG LIVE ROBIN HOOD! Hee, hee, hee!

Church Mouse 1: (appearing on top of Friar Tuck's head along with Church Mouse 2) Hooray! And long live Maid Marian!

Church Mouse 2: Bravo! Bravo! (The rest of the villagers come out of they're hiding places and begin cheering too)

Otto: Here here! Bravo! Bravo! Hooray!

Lady Kluck: (leaps from a tree and onto a tree branch) And down with that scurvy Prince John!

Little John: Yeah! Come on, folks! Let's party!

*Music begins to play as Alan A Dale plays the guitar like a rockstar would, a Chinese Rabbit (secretly the Chinese Cat from The Aristocats voiced by Tigger's voice actor Paul Winchell in a rabbit disguise) plays the drums, a white cat with a similar blue hat and shirt that Donald Duck normally wears (Scat Cat who dyed his fur white so no one but us would recognise him or his dance moves from The Aristocats) plays the flute (knowing Scat Cat, the flute should've really been his saxophone/trombone but that would give the game away and let everyone know that him and his gang AREN'T Nottingham villagers), and a pig (the big fat cat with the BIG guitar from The Aristocats in a pig costume who has lost weight since that film) plays a guitar too.*

(Well, think about it, Dede42. I'm sure even YOU may have noticed the recycled dance animation from The Jungle Book, The Aristocats and Snow White used in the Phony King of England song. Everyone has. And plus, you never know, the band near Alan A Dale COULD be Scat Cat and his gang of alley cats in different animal disguises if you watch they're dance moves closely. Dede42: I have noticed and I learned that they recycled the dance moves because of financial problems while building Disney World back in the day.)

[Little John]

Oh, the world will sing of an English King,

A thousand years from now.

And not because he passed some laws,

Or had that lofty brow.

While bonny good King Richard leads the great crusade he's on,

We'll all have to slave away for that good-for-nothin' John!

Incredible as he is inept.

Whenever the history books are kept,

They'll call him the Phony King of England!

[Friar Tuck]

A POX ON THE PHONY KING OF ENGLAND!

Hee, hee, hee!

*Little John opens the curtains as Friar Tuck and Otto do a puppet show for the kids using lifelike dummies of Prince John and Sir Hiss which were really just a scarecrow and an old sock.*

[Alan A Dale]

He sits alone on a giant throne,

Pretending he's the king!

[Little John]

A little tyke who's rather like,

A puppet on a string.

And he throws an angry tantrum if he cannot have his way.

And then he calls for mom,

While he's suckin' his thumb!

Heh, heh. You see, he doesn't wanna play!

*Skippy, Sis, Toby and Tagalong break down laughing at the hilarious sight of Friar Tuck and Otto acting out the lyrics of this verse.*

[Little John]

Too late to be known as John the First,

He's sure to be known as John the Worst!

A pox on that Phony King of England!

(I suppose some of you are wondering why it says that Alan A Dale sings the first words of the second verse. Well, it's because, although this song is sung by Little John throughout, for some reason upon hearing ''he sits alone a giant throne pretending he's the king'' I thought that was Alan A Dale because it sounds nothing like Little John at that point of the song. What do YOU think though? No one else has ever considered this before except me. Again, honest answers please. That means you, Dede42. Take your time. Dede42: I don't see anything wrong with Alan A Dale taking some of the lines in the song, I rather like it. *winks and smiles*)

Little John: (to Alan A Dale) Lay that country on me, babe! (Alan begins playing like crazy on his guitar)

Lady Kluck: Come on, Johnny! (Both start doing the same dance Baloo and King Louie did together in the ''I Wanna Be Like You'' song) Go laddie go!

*During this instrumental break, we cut to everyone else having a blast to this song. While we're here, let's talk some more about the recycled dance moves. Here we see two owls doing the same dance that Flunkey Monkey (the only one of King Louie's monkies that has a name from The Jungle Book) did, Robin Hood and Maid Marian doing the same dances that Thomas O'Malley and Duchess did together in The Aristocats, and oh, hey! Look! It's Scat Cat and his gang of alley cats in they're animal disguises again! Unlike the rest of the band who have disguised themselves as rabbits, dogs, pigs and whatever animal is playing the xylophone, Scat Cat is the only one without a different animal disguise. Instrumental break is over. Back to the song!*

[Little John]

While he taxes us to pieces,

And he robs us of our bread,

King Richard's crown keeps slippin' down,

Around that pointed head.

Ah! But while there is a merry man,

In Robin's wiley pack,

We'll find a way to make him pay,

And steal our money back.

A minute before he knows we're there,

Ol' Rob will snatch his underwear!

Robin Hood: (puts on the underwear from the Prince John dummy as everyone laughs and cheers once more) Well, what do you know? They fit just perfectly.

[Little John]

The breezy and uneasy king of England!

The snivellin' grovellin',

Measly weasly,

Blabberin' jabberin',

Gibberin' jabberin',

Plunderin' plottin',

Wheelin' dealin',

Prince John! That Phony King of England!

Yeah!

*They partied like that all night. Well, until they all got sleepy and headed on home for a good night's sleep anyway. And let me be the first to say in the words of Baloo, man, that's what I call a swingin' party.*

* * *

*The very next morning over at Prince John's castle, the Sheriff walked in singing the same song that everyone was singing last night as he made his was to Sir Hiss who was sitting at a desk counting the leftover money they still had that thankfully for them wasn't stolen.*

Sheriff: Oh, he throws an angry tantrum if he cannot have his way! He calls for mom and sucks his thumb and doesn't want to play! Too late to be known as John the First, he's sure to be known as John the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORST! (Sir Hiss breaks down laughing) Heh, heh. How about that?

Sir Hiss: (calms down after a few seconds of giggling) That sure is a catchy song there, Sheriff. Why, that's PJ to a T. It clearly is. Yes. Ooh, ooh! Let me try! Let me try! Just give me a second. Ahem. Maybe two. (Tries to find his singing voice) Oh, hee, ha, ho, too late to be known as John the First, he's sure to be known as John the Wors...(stutters as he notices Prince John walks into the room to see what is going on) uhhh, the fabulous, marvellous, merciful, regal, dignified, sincere, masterful, noble, chiv...

Sheriff: Oh, ya got it all wrong, Hiss. It's the snivelin', grovelin', weaselly, measly…

Prince John: (interrupting) ENOUGH!

Sheriff: Uh oh. (ducks as Prince John throws a bottle of sparkling grape juice at him) B-b-b-but sire! It's a big hit! Why, the whole village is singin' it. It's been proclaimed ''the most singed song in the history of singed songs in history''.

Prince John: And I thought it was ''Don't Stop Believing''. (Walks up to the Sheriff angrily) Well, very soon, these people will be singing a very completely different tune.

Sheriff: (nervously) W-w-which is...?

Prince John: Double the taxes! Triple the taxes! (Squeezes Sir Hiss) SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE every last drop out of those insolent (suddenly turns more cheerful) musical peasants. Speaking of musicals. I feel like I should sing a song myself!

Sir Hiss: Oh no, sire! Not again with the singing!

Sheriff: Why? Is it THAT bad?

Sir Hiss: WORSE!

(The following song Prince John is about to sing is actually an unused song that's not in this movie from Disc 2 of the Robin Hood Legacy Collection CD. Maybe you have it. Maybe you don't. Maybe you've heard it. Maybe you haven't. Dede42: No, I haven't, and now I'm curious.)

[Prince John]

Yes, one, two, three, four!

I'm inclined to believe!

If I were king,

I'd up and leave!

I love it! Love it!

There's no denying!

La, la, la!

Gathering gold is satisfying!

I have found some happiness for me!

Here in Nottingham!

Here in Notting-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

Here in Nottingham!

Here in Nottingham!

Here in Notting,

Notting-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ham!

(Laughs uncontrollably)

Nottingham.

Ha, ha, ha!

Ham.

Sheriff: (holding his ears) Ow.

Sir Hiss: I did tell you.

* * *

A/N: I hope you get better soon, Roleplayer48, and I hope you like what I added to the chapter. See you tomorrow! R&R everyone!


	10. Chapter 10: 'GET OUTTA MY CHURCH'

A/N: Another song that I'm gonna need to look up when I have a chance. I do hope you'll get over your cold in time for Halloween, Roleplayer48, and as for what I'm dressing up as tomorrow. Well, it's a character from one of those shows you don't really like, but that's how it goes sometimes. Anyhoo, get well and hopefully have a Happy Halloween tomorrow.

* * *

Chapter 10: Hard Times In Nottingham/''GET OUTTA MY CHURCH!''

*This is a gloomy looking sight. A stormy evening in Nottingham. Though, depending on what date you're reading this, this gloomy sight kinda fits the Halloween spirit. Don't you think? Unfortunately, it's nowhere near Halloween in this story so that's not the reason why there's bad weather. No, like in most cartoons, bad stormy weather would often happen when something evil or rotten is going on. What sort of evil thing is happening here that's causing this weather? I'm not telling you that. Leave that to the rooster...wherever he is.*

Alan A Dale: (narrating offscreen as we cut to a montage of the lack of people in the Nottingham village) Man, oh, man. That Prince John sure made good as threat.

Skippy: (offscreen) Uh, Alan? Who are you talking to?

Alan A Dale: (still narrating offscreen) And if you're wonderin' why there isn't any people in the village today, then you'll know that PJ's helpless subjects payed dearly for his humiliation. Believe me.

Sis: (offscreen) How can we NOT believe you? You payed dearly too, ya know!

Otto: (offscreen) And what do you mean by ''helpless''? Are you referring to me and my broken leg?

Tagalong: (offscreen) Yeah, wooster. Who's side are you on here?

Alan A Dale: (STILL narrating offscreen) Taxes, taxes, taxes. (Cut to the front of the jail where Trigger and Sheriff are guarding the entrance) Why, he taxed the heart and soul outta the poor people in Nottingham.

Skippy's Mother: (offscreen) Uh, you're forgetting that he taxed the heart and soul out of you too!

* * *

*Cut to the jail cell window which reveals where these voices are coming from.*

Alan A Dale: If you couldn't pay your taxes, you went to jail. (Looks out the window and at the audience/readers) Yep. It would appear that I'm in here too. Boy, Nottingham was in deep trouble.

Everyone Inside The Jail Cell: WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?!

Alan A Dale: All the folks watchin' this at home of course.

Everyone Inside The Jail Cell: WHAT FOLKS?!

Alan A Dale: Don't you see the cameras that keep following every single one of use wherever we go? We're being filmed for a movie based on what's happening in real life right now.

Everyone Inside The Jail Cell: A MOVIE?!

Skippy: Well, if these cameras have secretly been filming what's been happening to us these past days, why are they filming us trapped in here?!

Sis: And who would wanna watch a film about us getting locked up in a jail just for having a dance party while mocking Prince John last night?

Skippy's Mother: (while feeding her other baby bunnies some soup) And for a chicken, how do you know so much?

Alan A Dale: Because I happen to know that what's happening in reality right now is loosely based off a fairytale of our hero and I'm pretending to be a narrator for these cameras that are filming us.

Skippy: Well then, what happens next in this here fairytale that our lives are based off? Do we spend the rest of our lives in here until we rot or die?

Alan A Dale: Uh, I can't remember.

Everyone Inside The Jail Cell: WHAT?!

Alan A Dale: I was so busy jamming it up at the party last night, I've forgotten what happens next in the fairytale that suddenly ended up happening just now and didn't have time to warn anyone.

Skippy's Mother: Okay. Who votes we all throw these bowling balls that our feet are attached to at this here know it all?

Everyone Inside The Jail Cell: Me!

Alan A Dale: Uh-oh.

Skippy's Mother: Then it's settled. GET HIM!

Alan A Dale: Uhhh, looks like you people are on your own without a storyteller here! Don't worry! I've hired a substitute in case of emergencies like this! Don't worry about us. We'll be fine if what good thing happens in the fairytale eventually happens to us in reality. I...(notices everyone flying across the room toward him because they threw the bowling balls that they're feet are attached to at his direction) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

* * *

*Cut to the outside of Friar Tuck's church. And it's looking just as gloomy here than it was back in the village. But where is this so called substitute storyteller/narrator that will be filling in for Alan while he's trapped in the jail? Oh, there he is...oh no! Not HIM!*

King Louie: Hi there. You know who this is, don't you? This is King Louie. You remember me from The Jungle Book? (Waits for a response until the cameras nod up and down indicating the viewers/reviewers said yes) I thought you would. But let me ask you this. Did you know that Robin Hood and I were friends long, long ago? Honest, I knew Rob almost as well as I know you. I'd sing a song about but now's not the best time. Let's see what goes on inside this here church.

(Before we do cut to inside the church, let me explain what this idiot is doing here! First of all, it is HIGHLY recommended for you to listen to a CD called ''Let's Hear It For Robin Hood'' by Louis Prima. Or if you don't have one, just search up all the songs from the CD on Youtube. Trust me, you'll get a kick out of it and then you'll know why he's playing as a substitute narrator in this fanfic. Plus, Louie sings a really funny silly song about poor Friar Tuck about to get hanged. Trust me, a silly song about a serious matter of death from being hanged. You'll love it!)

* * *

*Cut to inside the church where Friar Tuck is ringing the bells while Church Mouse 1 (we changed his original name for a REASON) plays the organ.*

Church Mouse 1: Hey, uh, Friar? I don't think anyone's coming here.

Friar Tuck: Oh, what's the point in trying to fight against it? When you're right, you're right, strange talking mouse that has decided to live in my church for some strange reason. But you never know, maybe the sound of my church bell may give the poor people some comfort. I mean, we must do what we can to keep they're hopes alive. (Church Mouse 1 nods in agreement)

Church Mouse 2: (sweeping up outside her mouse hole) But Friar, how can there even BE any hope with that big old meanie pants known as Prince John taxing the heart and soul out of the poor people.

Church Mouse 1: I hear they arrested our wandering minstrel, too.

Friar Tuck: (opens his empty poor box) Yes. Those poor people. And poor Alan A Dale. And if you look in here, you'll know that our poor box is like our church. (Sigh) Empty.

Church Mouse 2: (gets an idea) Wait, Friar! Just stay where you are! I'll be right back! (Runs into her bedroom and pulls a coin from under her bed mattress then goes back over to Friar) Friar Tuck. We've been saving this farthing for quite some time. I know it may not be much. But, please take it for the poor?

Friar Tuck: Your last farthing? You're really willing to part with it? (Church Mouse 2 nods in agreement) Aw, little girl mouse that has also decided to live with me in my church for some strange reason like the other mouse. No one can give more than that. (Drops the coin into the poor box) Bless you both.

Church Mouse 1: Oh, thank you, Friar. But we didn't sneeze! (Ba dum TSSH!)

Church Mouse 2: Father!

Church Mouse 1: How am I your father if your so much older than I am? Besides, that was a joke to lighten the mood around here.

Church Mouse 2: Well, I didn't think it was very funny.

Church Mouse 1: Well, what I meant to say was that we've been saving that farthing for a rainy day.

Friar Tuck: Well, little mouse. You'll be pleased to know that it is raining now.

Church Mouse 2: Is it? (Quickly climbs up to the nearest window and look outside) Why, so it is! What a stroke of luck!

Friar Tuck: Well, things can't get much worse.

Sheriff: (enters the church uninvited) Howdy there, Friar!

Friar Tuck: (does a double take in surprise) Huh? What? SHERIFF?!

Sheriff: That's me. The one and only friendly neighbourhood tax collector here at your service. And it looks to me like I dropped by just in time.

Church Mouse 1: What does that big bellied bully want here?

Church Mouse 2: Father! Shh! Not so loud!

Church Mouse 1: And why do you keep calling me your father? You're not my adopted daughter! Do you seriously not know how much younger I am than you?

Church Mouse 2: Just keep your voice down!

Sheriff: (looks inside the poor box and takes the coin) Hmm. Well, what have got here?

Friar Tuck: Now, just wait one cotton picking minute there, Sheriff! Th-Th-THAT'S THE POOR BOX!

Sheriff: Why, so it is, Captain Obvious. And I shall be taking this here gold farthing to ''poor'' Prince John! Heh. Every little bit helps.

* * *

*Cut to a brief little commercial of various Tescos shops here in the UK with the slogan ''every little helps''.*

Random Female Commercial Narrator: Tescos. Every little helps. Brought to you by the Sheriff of Nottingham.

*Cut back to inside the church.*

* * *

Church Mouse 2: D'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! You put that back right this instant!

Sheriff: Sorry there, missy. But I don't get paid for doing what rats say.

Church Mouse 2: Knowing Prince John, I doubt you ever get paid at all!

Sheriff: (realises she's right) Oh yeah. Well even so, his majesty also blesses you, little sister.

Church Mouse 2: Sister?! I'm much older than that! Respect your elders!

Church Mouse 1: Well, now that you've finally admitted what you've been denying, does that mean you'll stop mistaking me for your father?

Church Mouse 2: But you ARE my father, right?

Friar Tuck: I don't have the time or the patience for whatever this is. (Gets enraged at the Sheriff) As for you, you THIEVING SCOUNDREL!

Sheriff: Now, take it easy, Friar. I'm just doin' my duty.

Friar Tuck: Duty? YOU CALL THAT DUTY! YOU'RE TAKING GOLD THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO PRINCE JOHN AND JUST TAKING IT BY FORCE! HOW IS THAT DUTY?!

Sheriff: Now, you listen here, Friar. You're getting mighty preachy! And you are gonna preach that neck of yours right into a hangman's noose!

Friar Tuck: (begins shouting) GET OUTTA MY CHURCH! (forces the Sheriff down the aisle and out the door) OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!

Church Mouse 2: (worried) Oh, dear me.

* * *

*Cut to back outside in the rainy weather where Friar and Sheriff do battle!*

Friar Tuck: (using a wooden pole to attack the Sheriff) YOU WANT TAXES?! I'LL GIVE YOU TAXES! PREPARE TO FEEL THE WRATH OF...this weird brown stick that I for some reason am using as a weapon instead of a sword. (Bonks the Sheriff on his head)

Sheriff: OW!

Church Mouse 1: Give it to him! Give it to him! Give it to him, Friar!

*In a nearby tree, Trigger flies down and throws the hood over Friar's face blinding him.*

Sheriff: (now holding a shackle) You're under arrest for high treason to the crown! (Places the shackle around Friar Tuck's neck...which could cause breathing difficulties)

Church Mouse 2: Oh no! (Begins crying)

Church Mouse 1: Oh, there, there, stranger.

* * *

*Cut to a long distance away from the church where King Louie is going to sing a jolly song about Friar Tuck from the ''Let's Hear It For Robin Hood'' CD.*

[King Louie]

AAAAAAAAAAAAIN'T THAAAAAAAAAAAAAT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRUUUUUUUUUUUUTH!

Friar Tuck, Friar Tuck,

He's runnin' outta luck!

The Sheriff threw the book at him,

And he forgot to duck.

Robin Hood and Little John,

And all the merry men,

Have gotta try to save his neck,

Before they do him in!

They've got to save the Friar!

It's the only thing to do!

The Friar's in a pickle,

Oh, the Friar's in a stew!

We've got to save the Friar,

Or it will be goodbye!

Until we meet at the great,

Sherwood Forest in the sky!

Friar Tuck, Friar Tuck,

He's runnin' outta luck!

The Sheriff threw the book at him,

And he forgot to duck.

Robin Hood and Little John,

And all the merry men,

Have gotta try to save his neck,

Before they do him in!

Friar Tuck: (shouting from a long way away) OH, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!

King Louie: Oh! That's my cue to leave! Bye folks! You're on your for now! (Runs off)

* * *

A/N: Oh no! Not Friar Tuck! The horror! The horror! Oh, I know nothing bad will happen to Friar Tuck, but I couldn't resist being a bit dramatic. See you all on Thursday and be sure to have a Happy Halloween tomorrow! R&R everyone!


	11. Chapter 11: The Plan To Hang Friar Tuck!

A/N: I know that the new story is starting a bit slow, but it'll pick up with the next chapter. So, I know that looks like there was some foreshadowing in _House of Mayhem_ , but what was used in that story was Dusk-bloom Mist, which is made from the mushrooms, and they don't have any connection with the Flower of Eternal Rest, which Sunny and the others haven't head about just yet.

* * *

Chapter 11: The Plan To Hang Friar Tuck!

*Back at Prince John's castle as it continues to rain like in the last chapter...*

Random Choir From Nowhere: (singing to the tune of the Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. jingle) PRINCE JOHN EVIL INCORPORATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED! But since this is medieval times, it's not really incorporated because corporations haven't been invented yet so it's more like a guild or a tradesman ASSOCIATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

*Yes. Thank you. Enough of that. Anyway, inside the castle, Prince John is sitting on his throne and...ooh, something tells me he's NOT in a good mood today. Although, mind you, when Robin Hood's involved, he's NEVER in a good mood. But I don't why he's not in a good mood though. I mean, he taxed the heart and soul out of the people of Nottingham and locked up most of the people in jail. Even poor Alan A Dale. He's richer than ever before. So WHY isn't he happy? Ah, Hiss. Maybe whatever he's about to say might answer our questions? Also, he's gone back to wearing his red/orangey hat and shirt from his first scenes in this movie. Honestly Hiss, can you make up your mind on which you prefer wearing? I mean, it's obvious why Prince John switched to a BLUE robe for the remainder of this movie because Robin Hood stole his RED one (i actually prefer his blue robe more than his red one because blue's my favourite colour), but Hiss, MAKE UP YOUR MIND! DO YOU PREFER YOUR RED HAT AND SHIRT OR YOUR GREEN ONE?!*

Sir Hiss: (tries to comfort Prince John) Ahem. I say, sire. If I may- may venture an opinion, if you don't mind my saying so, you're not your usual cheerful delightfully devilish genial self today. (Long pause as Prince John says nothing) Hmm. Ooh! I-I-I know. I know. You haven't counted all of your money that we've collected for days. Hmm? I know how much you love taxes. Counting them always made you so happy. You even had a signature laugh to go along with this hobby. Now, uh, how did it go? Oh yeah. (Tosses some coins up and down trying to perfectly imitate Prince John's funny laugh) Aha! AHA! Hmm? Did I sound just like you? (Prince John still says nothing) Ahem. Well, just so you know if you don't feel up to talking to me much this evening, I'll just briefly say that taxes are pouring in kinda like the weather we've been having today, the jail is all full up and...Oh! I've got some excellent news, sire! Friar Tuck is in jail.

Prince John: (explodes with anger scaring Hiss) FRIAR TUCK?! YOU STUPID GREAT IDIOTIC BUMBLING NINNY! IT'S ROBIN HOOD I WANT, YOU IDIOT! I swear, though it would be against my better judgement, I'd give all my GOLD if I could just get my lion like HANDS on...(realises what Hiss had just said and immediately calms down) Wait a minute. Hiss?

Sir Hiss: (gulp) Y-y-y-yes? S-s-sire?

Prince John: Did you say Friar Tuck by any chance?

Sir Hiss: Did I? Y-y-yes! I did.

Prince John: (thinking for a few seconds) BY JOVE, HISS! I'VE GOT IT! I shall use that no good fatuous fat-headed fat man Friar Tuck as bait to trap Robin Hood.

Sir Hiss: (concerned) Another trap?

Prince John: Yes, you stupid serpent. Friar Tuck will be led to the gallows of the village square. Don't you see?

Sir Hiss: (horrified) B-b-b-but sire! Hang Friar Tuck? A man of a church?

Prince John: Yes, my reluctant reptile.

Sir Hiss: Couldn't you think of something a little less...too far? I mean, since everyone's locked up in jail and you have your taxes back, why not build a giant wall in front of your castle so that no one can disturb you? You won't even have to deal with Robin Hood then.

Prince John: And where are we gonna get bricks, cement and other building materials to build a wall like that? Besides, where's the fun in NOT getting revenge on Robin Hood? Nope. I'm sorry, Hiss. But I'm going with the hanging Friar Tuck plan. And when our elusive hero tries to rescue the corpulent cleric, (laughs evily), my men will be ready.

Sir Hiss: What men? You mean the rhinos? But they're terrible at they're jobs. Especially Derek.

Prince John: (Yawns) Sorry Hiss. As much as I'd LOVE to hear you lecture on and on like your normally do, I'm gonna put on my PJs and head on straight to bed for an early night. Come to bed when you're ready, Hiss. (Walks off to his bedroom)

Sir Hiss: What PJs? You sleep in your underwear! I...oh, why do I bother trying to reason with him? I still think MY idea about building a wall in front of our castle was a good idea.

* * *

*As PJ heads on up to beddie bye in his PJs (his underwear that we saw in the fortune teller scene), somewhere in the courtyard, Nutsy and Trigger (who haven't appeared in this movie for a LONG time since the Archery Tournament scenes) are helping the Sheriff setting up the gallow/scaffold thingy that they were going to use to hang Friar Tuck.*

Sheriff: Phew! Well Trigger, everything is now rigged up and all set!

Trigger: Yep. And I have to say, it's one of the prettiest scaffolds you ever built, Sheriff. Don't you agree, Nutsy? Nutsy? Where are you going?

Nutsy: Hey Sheriff, don't ya reckon' we oughta give that there trap door you're standin' on a test? (Pulls the lever)

Sheriff: NO NUTSY! WAIT! (Screams as he falls down the hole and then gets stuck) Ow! (Tries to get himself unstuck but fails miserably) Ooh, help! And criminently. I'm stuck.

Trigger: Oh dear. Oh gracious. (Tries to pull Sheriff out of the trap door) Well, it all comes from putting on weight by eating too much.

Sheriff: It all comes from not having trap doors big enough.

(Hmm. Now which other Disney film have I heard those lines of dialogue before? Dede42: I'm drawing a blank, too.)

Sheriff: (finally manages to free himself) Ah. That's better. Ya know, Nutsy, I'm beginnin' to see why yo mama called ya Nutsy in the first place.

Robin Hood: (shows up in his blind beggar outfit from when he visited Skippy's house) Alms, alms, alms for the poor. I say, do me old ears hear the melodious voice of the Sheriff?

Trigger: Melodious? Yeah, I don't think so.

Sheriff: Heh. That's right, ol' man.

Robin Hood: (tapping his old man cane on the scaffold) What be going on here I'd like to know?

Sheriff: Well, I don't really know if I'm supposed to tell any passer bys this, but if ya really must know if you that curious, we're plannin' on hangin' Friar Tuck.

Robin Hood: (lifts his sunglasses almost revealing he's not really an old man) NO! HANG FRIAR...(Clears his throat while quickly puts his sunglasses down so as not to give the game away) Hang Friar Tuck?

Nutsy: That's right. Tomorrow at the crack of dawn. And hey! Ya never know, if we're lucky, it may even turn into a double hangin'...(Trigger clamps his beak shut)

Trigger: Shut up before I stab you!

Robin Hood: ''A double hanging'' you say? Hmm. How suspicious. So, who'll be the other unlucky one who gets the rope?

Trigger: Sheriff, I don't know about you and Nutsy, but I think this critter is beginnin' to get a little too all-fired nosy here!

Robin Hood: Oh, please point that pea-shooter the other way? I didn't mean nothing. I swear. I'm only curious. I mean, a man of a church is getting hung. And who else wouldn't be sensitive about that kind of stuff? Speaking of curiosity, don't you think there could be trouble if Robin Hood showed up?

Nutsy: Ha! Well, what do ya know, Sheriff? He guessed it! Ha, ha, ha!

Trigger: Nutsy! Button your beak!

Robin Hood: Ah. No need to worry though. I mean, after all, the Sheriff be too crafty, too clever and too smart for the likes of him, says I. (Smirks, knowing that would feed the Sheriff's ego like it would to Rainbow Dash)

Sheriff: (chuckles) Ya hear that, Nutsy? For an old blind man, he sure knows a good man when he sees one, says I.

Trigger: (unaware that Robin Hood is walking away) Uh, Sheriff? I still got a nasty feelin' that the old codger knows a little way too much.

Sheriff: Oh, hush your mouth, Trigger. He's just a harmless blind beggar. Learn to respect the elderly, why don't ya? That's what a little rat in a dress told me.

* * *

*Poor Little John, Maid Marian and Lady Kluck. (Yep. They're involved in this because they were never seen again until the end of the original film) They've been standing outside the castle listening in on the whole thing. And they don't like what they've heard. No. Not one bit.

Robin Hood: (still pretending to be an old man) Alms, alms, alms for the poor. Alms, alms, alms for the poor.

Little John: Rob, over here! Quickly! We can't let them hang Friar Tuck?

Maid Marian: Yeah. Taxing the heart and soul out of everyone and locking them up in jail is one thing. But this?

Lady Kluck: I say it's going TOO far.

Robin Hood: (takes off the old man disguise, this time remembering to keep his green shirt on underneath unlike his little blooper in Chapter 3) Keep quiet, you three. Now, listen up. I think a jailbreak tonight is the only thing the Friar's got.

Lady Kluck: We're gonna do what?!

Little John: A jailbreak! There ain't no way you can...

Maid Marian: Little John. Do you WANT all of our friends to rot and die in they're jail cells?

Little John: Well...no. But...

Lady Kluck: And do you WANT poor innocent Friar Tuck to be hanged just for doing the right thing?

Little John: No. I don't want that either. But...

Robin, Marian and Klucky: But what?

Little John: (desperately trying to come up with an excuse) Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Robin Hood: Mmm-hmm. That's what I thought. Look, I don't care how risky it is, Johnny. We HAVE to do it or Friar Tuck dies at dawn.

King Louie: (appears seemingly out of nowhere startling the four) Boy, I've never seen Rob so worried as he was when he found out that the ''king'' had arrested Friar Tuck and was going to have him executed.

Little John: Who are you?

King Louie: King Louie. King of the apes. Childhood friend of Robin Hood many years ago before he became besties with you and Marian.

Robin Hood: (Facepalms) Oh no. Not YOU!

King Louie: Anyway, to continue on my narration as I continue to fill in for Alan A Dale, if Rob doesn't get Friar out of jail in time, we would never see Friar Tuck again.

Lady Kluck: Uh, yeah. You think that we don't know that already?

King Louie: (completely ignoring her) And if we good guys don't do somethin' soon to stop the bad guys from doin' away with the good guys, there won't be anyone left around here but just the bad guys.

Maid Marian: Who are you even talking to?

[King Louie]

AAAAAAAAAAAAIN'T THAAAAAAAAAAAAAT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRUUUUUUUUUUUUTH!

Robin Hood: Oh no! Not a song! Anything but that! Not at a time like this!

[King Louie]

Friar Tuck, Friar Tuck,

He's runnin' outta luck!

Robin Hood: Please stop?

[King Louie]

The Sheriff threw the book at him,

And he forgot to duck.

Little John: We know.

[King Louie]

Robin Hood and Little John,

And all the merry men,

Maid Marian: You mean us?

[King Louie]

Are gonna try to save his neck,

Before they do him in!

We can't let the Friar down,

Lady Kluck: Aren't you doing that already?

[King Louie]

Life is a ball when he's around.

He loves to sneeze and he loves to cough.

Robin Hood: Wait, what?

[King Louie]

But he can't do either with his head chopped off!

Maid Marian: Why do you sound so happy about it?

[King Louie]

Friar Tuck, Friar Tuck,

He's runnin' outta luck!

The Sheriff threw the book at him,

And he forgot to duck...

Robin Hood: (hits Louie on the head knocking him down onto the ground) That's enough out of you!

King Louie: Ow.

Robin Hood: (huffs and turns to his friends) Ok, we're going to rescue _everyone_ from that jail and rob Prince John blind. _That's_ what we're going to do. Any questions? Good, let's go.

(They run off and leaves King Louie on the ground with stars dancing around his head.

King Louie: Ooh, pretty stars…

* * *

A/N: And that's all I got, too. See you all on Tuesday! R&R everyone!


	12. Chapter 12: Jailbreak! (Part 1)

A/N: I figured you were taking a time out to get over that cold, Roleplayer48, and I'm glad to hear that you're doing better. My own toe is still mending since what was done to fix the problem can take from two weeks to two months to fully heal, and so it'll be while yet before I can walk around without limping. Any hoo, time to start Operation: Jailbreak!

* * *

Chapter 12: Jailbreak! (Part 1)

Random Choir From Nowhere: (singing to the tune of the Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. jingle) PRINCE JOHN EVIL INCORPORATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED! After hours!

*Yep. Late at night here at Prince John's castle as the guards (wolf archers and rhinos) go out on patrol. The night where Robin, Marian, Klucky and Little John rescue Friar Tuck and everyone from the jail. It's not going to be an easy task. I can tell you. Here they are near the ladder over the castle walls about to sneak in.*

Maid Marian: (whispering) Psst, are you sure this is going to work, Robin?

Robin Hood: (also whispering) I can assure you, it will, Marian. It's very simple. You and Little John will go to the jail and free the prisoners along with Friar Tuck, because that's an easier job for you in this mission, while me and Lady Kluck get the gold and transport it to Little John and the villagers inside the jail as they make they're getaway quietly. Okay?

Maid Marian: (nods) Got it.

Lady Kluck: Heh. Easier said than done.

Robin Hood: Okay. I'll go first and see what's up. (climbs up the ladder and sees the scaffold that Friar Tuck is going to be hung on. Then he notices the Rhino Guards guarding the doors to Prince John's tower)

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Psst, Derek. Are we really going through with this? How long do all of us have to stand outside this door?

Derek (the Rhino Guard): All night if we have to.

Other Rhinos That Don't Have Names: WHAT?!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Well, we can't just head off to bed like we normally do around this time of day. What if Robin Hood comes and frees everyone and robs Prince John while we sleep? Ooh, he won't like that one bit.

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: I don't even know why we even bother working with Prince John since his plans keeps going wrong all the time.

Yet ANOTHER Rhino Guard With No Name: Y'know, I kinda wish King Richard came back.

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Yeah. Things were a lot better for us guards then. Why can't we just set everyone free and call this whole thing off?

Derek (the Rhino Guard): And have US end up with the same fate that awaits Friar Tuck at dawn? No way!

Robin Hood: Wow. Those rhinos are so terrible at they're jobs, it's incredible they weren't fired years ago. (Notices the Sheriff sleeping outside the jail door while Nutsy and Trigger wander back and forth on patrol) Right. Come on, everyone. Just follow my lead.

*The four move in one at a time very quietly. Except Little John almost gives them away when some of the gravel fell after he was the last one up the ladder.*

Little John: Uh oh. Um, ya think anyone heard that?

Wolf Archer 1: Hey! Did you hear something?

Robin Hood: Oh yeah. They heard it. Come on!

Wolf Archer 2: I didn't hear nothing.

Wolf Archer 1: Are you sure? Because I definitely thought I heard something.

Wolf Archer 2: You sure it's not just your imagination? Whatever you heard was probably the wind.

Wolf Archer 1: Huh. Well, if you say so.

* * *

*Our four heroes get to ground of the castle and continue sneaking.*

Robin Hood: Uh oh. Trigger's coming! Quick! Hide! (All press themselves against the wall)

Trigger: (annoyed groan) I can't believe I have to stay up all night guardin' this stinkin' place with Nutsy of all people. Why did I even agree to this in the first place? In fact, I have the strangest feeling that I'm being watched. (Looks behind him but finds no one there) Huh. (Shrugs) Oh well. Must be my imagination or something. Back to work. (Continues walking)

Maid Marian: So, uh...what now?

Little John: Yeah, Rob. What's the plan for right now?

Robin Hood: We need to get our hands on the prison keys from the Sheriff. (Looks to Nutsy and smiles) And I think I how we can. Follow me.

*Little John, Maid Marian and Lady Kluck quietly follow Robin to another wall near the jail where Nutsy is approaching. Little John is just about to grab him by the beak but...*

Nutsy: (shouting) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE O'CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL'S WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!

*Yep. Nutsy is mentally stupid. He clearly doesn't know the time is 3 o'clock. How do I know what time it is? Just listen to the clock. It's chiming three times so of course it's 3 o'clock. I almost feel sorry for poor Trigger having to put up with Nutsy's shenanigans.*

Sheriff: (wakes up with a snort) Hey Nutsy. I think you'd had better set your brain ahead a couple of hours.

Nutsy: Yes sir. I'll get on that right away. Uhhh...does that there mean addin' or subtractin'? I never was good with maths at school.

Sheriff: You know what? Just forget what I just said and get back to work already.

Nutsy: Yes, sir, Sheriff, sir. (Goes back to his patrol)

Sheriff: Oh yeah. One more thing, Nutsy. How am I supposed to be gettin' any sleep tonight with you yellin' ''ALL's WELL!'' at the top of your lungs here?

Trigger: Sheriff, everything ain't ''all's well'' for me. I've got a feelin' in my bones that there could be a jailbreak happenin' around here any minute.

Sheriff: (notices Trigger's crossbow pointing at his face) GAH! Oh, criminently, Trigger! Would ya please point that peashooter the other way? You're gonna poke somebody's eye out with that thing if you ain't careful.

Trigger: Aw, relax, Sheriff. There's no need to worry about a thing. Ya wanna know why?

Sheriff: Why?

Trigger: Because the safety's on Ol' Betsy. (Accidentally fires his crossbow by patting it causing the arrow to fly about all over the place) AAAAH! Uh oh! WATCH OUT!

Sheriff: WHOA! (manages to dodge the arrow as best as he can) What in tarnation' are ya tryin' to do, you birdbrain? (Smashes Trigger on the head)

Trigger: Ow. Aw, I get blamed for everything. I'm only doin' my duty, Sheriff.

Sheriff: Oh, you and that itchy Trigger finger of yours.

*Nutsy goes back to where he was before getting ready to correct his mistake he made a few minutes ago.*

Nutsy: Right. I'll try again. Ahem. (Feels someone tapping on his head) Huh? What's that?

Lady Kluck: (Grabs Nutsy by the beak as Little John attempted to do) GOTCHA! (Pulls him back behind the wall)

Nutsy: (muffled) WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME? HELP!

* * *

*Cut back to the Sheriff and Trigger.*

Trigger: Hey! Wait a minute!

Sheriff: What?

Trigger: I thought I heard something! Did ya hear that, Sheriff?

Sheriff: Sure did, Trigger. What do you think made that sound?

Trigger: Either someone attempting a jailbreak or a lil' ol' cricket bug with squeaky shoes.

Sheriff: Well, I don't know about a cricket but with shoes. But one thing's for sure, there's something funny goin' on around here.

Trigger: Wait. Didn't you already say that when you were at the Archery Tournament a few days ago?

(Recycled animation from earlier in the film once again. Even Pinkie Pie lampshades the fact that the Sheriff said that line twice in one movie in one of my My Little Pony Season 1 Deleted Scenes. Dede42: That happen quite a bit due to financial issues while constructing Disney World back during that time period.)

Sheriff: It's my favourite catchphrase, Trigger. Now come on. Whoever's snooping around here is gonna get it and get it good. You cover me. (Creeps to the direction of where they heard the noise until he stops suddenly) Wait a minute. Uh, is the safety on Ol' Betsy?

Trigger: (pats his crossbow again) You bet it is, Sheriff. As it's always been.

Sheriff: (not taking any chances of having an arrow in his butt) Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. You go first.

Trigger: Oh. Alright then. Heh. I guess this means I get the tender part.

Sheriff: Oh, hush your mouth. Just get goin'. (Trigger walks in front of him as he takes out his sword) ALRIGHT, WHOEVER'S IN THERE! COME ON OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!

Trigger: Yeah, reach for da sky! I've got a crossbow here and I'm not afraid to use it!

* * *

*Cut to in the darkness as Robin Hood puts on a disguise to look like Nutsy.*

Robin Hood: Just you watch this performance, you three. (Puts a sock on his nose)

Maid Marian: Be careful, Robin.

Robin Hood: Aw, relax, Marian. (Walks out of the hiding place and changes his voice to sounds like Nutsy's) Jehoshaphat, Trigger. Put that peashooter down. You're gonna poke somebody's eye out with that thing if you're not careful.

Sheriff: (lowers his sword) Aw, shucks, Trigger. It's only Nutsy. Who else would it be? And criminently, Trigger! Quit foolin' around and get back to your patrol! On the double! Get!

Trigger: Okay! Okay! I'm a gettin'! I'm a gettin'!

Sheriff: (sighs as Robin Hood follows him back to his post) That Trigger. He's just gettin' everybody edgy tonight. Nothin's gonna happen. Well, that's what I'm sure of anyway. That fat Friar's gonna be dangling from the gallows come daybreak. (Robin turns to the others who are still hiding and winks at them) Welp, time for beddy bye. (Yawns as Robin helps him into his chair)

Robin Hood: Sheriff, why don'tcha sit yourself down here kind of cozy-like as I tell you a nice bedtime story?

Sheriff: (shuts his eyes and begins to go to sleep) Thank you, Nutsy.

Robin Hood: It's called the...uhh...the Ugly Barnacle. (Sheriff has already fallen asleep snoring) Once there was an ugly barnacle. (Takes the keys from the Sheriff and begins to unlock the jail door) He was so ugly that...uh...everyone died. The end. (Jumps as the keys make a noise as he turns them) YIPE! (Gulp) Is he still asleep? (Sheriff is still snoring) Yep. He is. Phew. Thank goodness. (Gives the signal to Little John and Maid Marian)

Little John: Ah. That's our cue. Come on, Marian.

Maid Marian: Oh. Right. Uh, wait for me.

Little John: Oh. Sorry. Um, ladies first?

Maid Marian: Heh. Now, you're talking.

*The two head up and walk through the open door, grabbing the keys from Robin while doing so. But they close the door TOO LOUD!*

Maid Marian: Uh oh.

Trigger: WAIT A MINUTE! (Accidentally fires his crossbow all over the place again which wakes up the Sheriff) JAILBREAK! JAILBREAK!

Sheriff: AAH! (manages to dodge the arrow as best as he can again) NOT AGAIN! (Makes a run for it)

Trigger: I HEARD IT! I HEARD IT, SHERIFF! THE DOOR! THE DOOR!

Robin Hood: Oh no ya don't! (Trips Trigger up with the staff)

Trigger: Whoa! Oof! (Slides up to an angry looking Sheriff) Uhhh...hi?

Sheriff: (annoyed) Now, for the last time, Trigger, NO MORE FALSE ALARMS! (Kicking Trigger making him yelp)

Trigger: D'OUCH!

Robin Hood: Right. Now, Johnny, you and Maid Marian release Friar Tuck and the others while Klucky and I handle the dangerous stuff as we drop in on the royal treasury.

Maid Marian: Right. Come on, Little John. (They both head on up the stairs)

Robin Hood: Right. Ready, Klucky?

Lady Kluck: Danger's my middle name.

Robin Hood: Right. Come on. (They both head off to Prince John's tower)

* * *

A/N: And that's a wrap for this chapter. See you all on Tuesday! Bye! R&R everyone!


	13. Chapter 13: Jailbreak! (Part 2)

A/N: Hopefully this is the last time we have to update this particular chapter.

* * *

Chapter 13: Jailbreak! (Part 2)

*When we last left our four heroes, they had successfully managed to sneak the keys out of the Sheriff's belt while he was sleeping. Now, they've split up to continue the mission. Little John and Maid Marian are making they're way up the stairs of the jail to free everyone inside.*

Maid Marian: (notices a cell that they had almost passed) Psst, Little John. Over here.

Little John: Hmm? What is it, Marian?

Maid Marian: Look at this sign.

Little John: Hmm. ''Sentenced to Death for Treason''? I bet that's where poor Friar Tuck is being held captive.

Maid Marian: (quietly panicking) Well, don't just stand there! Open the door and let's free him!

Little John: On it. (Unlocks the door to find Friar Tuck chained to the wall sitting down on the ground sadly)

Friar Tuck: Huh? (Looks up thinking his time of death had come) Oh! Little John! Maid Marian! It can't be! Is it really you two?

Maid Marian: Shh! Keep quiet or you'll give us away, Friar. Yes. It's really us.

Little John: Yep. And we're bustin' outta here. Now, let me see if I can unlock this. (Unlocks Friar's shackles) Ah. There we go.

Friar Tuck: (sighs in relief) Thank God. My prayers have been answered. Ooh, ow. (Rubs his hands) I think I've had those shackles on for too long. My hands hurt.

(What about your neck though, Friar? I mean, seriously, a neck shackle?! That could've beheaded you instantly, let alone choke you to death!)

* * *

*After freeing Friar from his cell, the three of them continue they're way up the stairs until they find and enter the prison where everyone was sleeping, hoping they'd soon be free.*

Little John: Right. We'll free everyone one at a time. Got your keys to unlock they're shackles and chains?

Maid Marian and Friar Tuck: Yep.

Little John: Right. I'll start freeing Alan. Good luck.

Friar Tuck: I should probably help Otto.

Maid Marian: (notices Skippy and the other kids she and Lady Kluck met earlier in this film/fanfic) Oh no! Not the kids too! I'd better save them right away! (She hurries to the kids to free them of the chains.) Skippy!

Skippy: Maiden Marian! Boy, am I glad to see you! Where's Robin Hood?

Maid Marian: (unlocks the chains and helps the kids remove them) He's busy with robbing Prince John and Lady Kluck is helping him. (She also removes the chains from Skippy's mother.)

Mother Rabbit: Oh, thank you for helping us, Maid Marian.

Maid Marian: You're completely welcome.

* * *

Little John: (goes over to Alan A Dale and unlocks his shackles/chain) Wakey Wakey, Alan! We're here to rescue you...oh hey! (Notices bruises everywhere on Alan) Whoa. What happened to you?

Alan A Dale: Don't ask.

(If you want a quick reminder on why Alan is all bruised up, you'd better quickly go over Chapter 10 again.)

* * *

(Alan glances out the window and notices Robin and Klucky out the window after everyone's been freed from they're shackles and chains.)

Alan A Dale: Hey guys! Look out the window!

Skippy: Why should we listen to you now? Haven't you let us down already?

(Again, quickly check over Chapter 10 to find out what Alan did to let everyone down if anyone needs a reminder.)

Alan A Dale: No! Really! Look! It's Robin Hood and Lady Kluck!

*And indeed it is. Here they are. Robin Hood and Lady Kluck are climbing up the wall to the false King's bed chambers, hoping to get the gold and get themselves and everyone else out of there before it was too late.

* * *

*Robin Hood and Lady Kluck enters the bedroom where they find Prince John sleeping in his bed dreaming about his favorite foods along with Sir Hiss in a long baby cradle.*

Robin Hood: (whispering) There it is, Klucky. The mother lode.

Lady Kluck: (whispering as well) Wow. That's an awful lot of gold he has there. Hey, are you ready with that rope?

Robin Hood: (nods) Mmm-hmm.

Prince John: (mumbling a song about food in his sleep) Food, glorious food! Hot sausage and mustard! While we're in the mood, cold jelly and custard! (Continues mumbling the rest of the lyrics to the song)

Lady Kluck: (tries to stop herself from laughing) I kinda feel sorry for poor Hiss there.

Robin Hood: (also keeps himself from laughing too loud) Heh. That's nothing. You should hear Little John when he sleeps. He sings in his sleep! (Heads to the window/balcony and ties a rope to one of his arrows) Right. Here goes nothing.

*Robin shoots the arrow with the rope attached to it across to the jail window on the other side of the balcony where Little John catches it.*

Little John: Ha. Thanks, Robby. (Loops the arrow through one of the torch holders in the room) Right. Gotta aim just right since I don't often do archery as well as Rob does. (Fires the arrow with the rope back across the yard to Prince John's bedroom/tower) Perfect.

* * *

*Unfortunately, the arrow that Little John fired back across to the bedroom that lands on the wall above the wall briefly wake Prince John up! Luckily, Robin and Klucky hide behind the curtains before he notices them.*

Prince John: (waking up) HUH?! WHAT?! (Falling back to sleep again) Oh, it was probably nothing. (Drops off dreaming about food again) Now, for some delicious chocolate cake.

Sir Hiss: (also briefly waking up scowling at the Prince) Oh, how's a snake supposed to get any sleep around here with all this talk of food? Especially since I go through this literally every night! (Sigh) Okay, calm down, Hiss. If you wake the prince he'll be so mad at you. (Yawns as Robin Hood begins rocking his bed back and forth using his feet) Just quietly and calmly go back to sleep. (Drops off to sleep snoring like a snake would)

Lady Kluck: (peers from the curtains) Are they both asleep now, Robin?

Robin Hood: (whispers yet again) Yep. Now, come on. Let's get to work on getting this gold out of here.

Lady Kluck: On it.

*Together, Robin and Klucky gather the up the bags of gold and tie them to the rope as it gets pulled across the yard and to the prison.*

* * *

*Meanwhile inside the jail as everyone helps themselves to they're own gold...*

Friar Tuck: (laughing a little too loud) Hee hee hee! PRAISE the Lord and pass the tax rebate! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! (Hands two elderly owls a bag each)

Maid Marian: Shh! Not so loud, Friar! You'll give us away again!

Friar Tuck: Oops. Sorry.

Little John: (Whispers while holding a few sacks of gold) Right, everyone. Have you all got your bags of gold?

Everyone Else In The Jail: Yep.

Little John: Right then. Come on. Follow me. (Leads Friar Tuck, Otto and the others down the stairs quietly so as not to alert the guards)

* * *

*Outside the jail, the Sheriff is still asleep snoring.*

Little John: (peeks out as he opens the prison door) Hmm. Coast is clear here. And bushel britches is still sleepin' like a baby. I think we're safe to go...(notices one of the sacks of gold on the rope/clothesline has a hole in it causing some gold to fall out)...uh oh.

Sheriff: (wakes up as some coins hit him on the head) Huh? What? Oh, it's just raining gold. (Closes his eyes) I knew I should've hung an umbrella out here to keep me dry in case it rai...RAINING GOLD?! GUARDS! TRIGGER! WHERE ARE...(Little John grabs him and pulls him into the jail) WHOA! TRIGGER! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!

Trigger: (hears the noise) I KNEW IT! A JAILBREAK! I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! (Runs back to the front of the prison where he left the Sheriff only to find Little John in his clothing pretending to sleep on the chair) Now Sheriff, don't get your dander up, but I still got a feelin' that… (Little John reveals himself) WHAT THE?! (Little John grabs him by the neck)

Little John: Well, I bet you weren't expecting this now, were ya? (Signals Friar Tuck and the other prisoners to go while they still can) Friar, get goin'! Hurry!

Friar Tuck: Right. Come on, gang. This way. (Leads the prisoners as they all begin to head out until they stop and see a couple of wolf archers on patrol)

Wolf Archer 1: I keep telling ya, buddy. I swear I DID hear some voices and a lot of shouting earlier. Why won't you believe me?

Wolf Archer 2: Are you new around here? Maybe you're not used to being out all night or something. That's probably why you keep hearing things. What do you lads think? (The other wolf archers nod in agreement) I think maybe you'd better head on to bed and get some sleep. Maybe then you'll be fine. (They all begin heading off to the castle)

Friar Tuck: Good. They've gone. Come on, guys.

*The villagers follow Friar Tuck as the clock begins to chyme four times indicating that it was 4 o'clock.*

* * *

*Back inside Prince John's bedroom, the sound of the clock gets Robin and Klucky's attention.*

Robin Hood: (quietly gasps) It's almost dawn! We need to hurry! Lady Kluck, do you have the last bag ready to tie to this thing?

Lady Kluck: (hands Robin the final bag) Here it is, Robin. The last...(feels an urge to sneeze) uh oh.

Robin Hood: (ties the bag onto the rope) What?

Lady Kluck: I...I think I'm going...to...to...SNEEZE!

Robin Hood: Oh no!

Lady Kluck: ATCHOO!

Robin Hood: Gesundheit.

Sir Hiss: (waking up yet again due to the sneeze) What is going on here? (Notices Robin and Lady Kluck rush out the bedroom to the clothesline with the rest of the gold) What? Robin Hood? Lady Kluck? (Finds the room almost empty) THE GOLD!

Robin Hood: Right then, Klucky. You first.

Lady Kluck: Thank you kindly. (Jumps onto the clothesline with Robin not far behind him beginning to climb across to the jail)

Sir Hiss: Oh no you don't! (Grabs a sack of gold while holding on tight to Prince John's bed) Got it! (Realises thanks to him, they were now being pulled out the window) Uh oh. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Prince John: (wakes with a start noticing the bed moving toward the balcony and Hiss tied to the end of his leg grabbing onto a sack of gold) AAAAAAAH! WHAT THE?! HISS, WHAT'S HAPPENING?! (Bed crashes a bit on the balcony and a nearby lit torch falls to the floor, lights the carpet on fire, and the flames quickly spread throughout the bedroom) WHOA! WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! (Falls out of the bed and hangs on the balcony edge for dear life) What's going on right now? This can't possibly be happening to me! I must be having a bad dream! Yeah, that's it! This is all but a nightmare! (he sees through the window and spots the flames) Yes, yes, this is _definitely_ a nightmare!

Sir Hiss: (still grabbing hold of the now broken sack of gold) No, sire. This is very much real.

Prince John: HOW ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT IT ALL, HISS?! WE'RE HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE ABOUT TO PLUMMET TO OUR DOOMS HERE!

* * *

*Meanwhile the remaining prisoners still in the prison area are pulling as hard to on the rope to get the gold.*

Alan A Dale: (pulling hard on the rope) HEAVE! HEAVE!

Toby: (Just standing there doing nothing) Heave! Heave! Um, they ARE heaving, Alan.

Skippy: (also pulling hard on the rope) Well, you heave as well, you idiot!

Toby: Hmm? Oh yeah. Sorry. (Begins helping them pull on the rope) HEAVE! HEAVE!

* * *

Prince John: (still hanging on for dear life on the other side) GUARDS! GUARDS! MY GOLD!

Sir Hiss: (sarcastically) Oh sure. Care about the gold but not your life, pal.

Robin Hood: (dodges the arrows from the wolf archers while struggling to continue climbing across the clothesline with Lady Kluck) Oh, this isn't good.

Lady Kluck: (also dodging the arrows as best as she can) No! It's WORSE than good!

Robin Hood: Why, Hiss? Why did you have to constantly keep waking up and then blow our cover like this and put ALL our lives in danger?

Sir Hiss: I was having difficulty sleeping. Plus, I could HEAR you and that chicken whispering to each other the whole time! Don't think that DIDN'T wake me up!

Lady Kluck: Don't bother arguing with him, dear! COME ON!

Robin Hood: Oh! Right! (Follows Klucky across the clothesline safely)

Prince John: Aw, geez! I don't know how much longer I can hold on to this ledge! (Loses his grip on the balcony edge) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Flies into the wall, crashing into it) OW! My butt! (Falls down to the ground) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OOF! Huh. That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought for sure I was gonna di...(notices the last of the prisoners running out with the gold) Oh no, no, no! They're getting away with my gold! (Runs over and closes the door as Tagalong and Sis run out in time) GUARDS! GUARDS! TO THE JAIL!

* * *

Derek (the Rhino Guard): (wakes up with a start) Huh? What? (Notices everyone escaping) Oh! Right! Uh, wake up you lot! (The other rhinos wake up) Axes ready?

Other Rhinos That Don't Have Names: READY!

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Wait. Why should we take orders from you again, Derek? Nobody even likes you.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Oh, come on, man. Don't start this conversation again. We've already been through this.

Prince John: GUARDS!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): See? He gave that order, not me! NOW CHARGE!

*The Rhino Guards begin charging toward the prison unaware that Prince John is STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM!*

Prince John: (notices the rhinos coming his way) Wait a minute! RHINOS! HALT! STOP! DESIST!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Uh oh. WATCH OUT!

*The Rhino Guards do their best to stop, but they end up crashing into the jail door taking poor screaming Prince John with them.*

Prince John: AAAAAAAAAAH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Watch out for the wall, men! (Too late! They crash into the other wall) Okay, that's coming out of Derek's pay!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): What do you mean? You HARDLY pay us at all!

Robin Hood: (now safely on the ground with the others running away) EVERYBODY THIS WAY!

Lady Kluck: MOVE IT PEOPLE, MOVE IT!

Maid Marian: They're running as fast as they possibly can, you two.

Otto: Yeah! And I still have a busted leg here!

(It was never explained how or why Otto's leg was busted in the first place when he was first introduced to this movie. Dede42: I suspect that the Sheriff may have had something to do with it when Otto refused to pay his taxes, and I wouldn't put it passed the Sheriff to do something like that.)

Sis: (trying her hardest to dodge the flying arrows) Oh no. One's heading my way! (Jumps over said arrow flying her way) WHOOPS! That one nearly got me!

* * *

Wolf Archer 1: See, guys? I was right all along! I told you I kept hearing voices!

Wolf Archer 2: Alright, alright. No one likes a know it all.

Skippy: Not so fast, you three wolfies coming our way! (Fires his arrow at the three charging wolf archers)

All Three Wolf Archers: OH NO! (Skippy's arrow sends them flying backwards until they get pinned to a wall) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OOF!

Wolf Archer 2: (sarcastically) Well, THIS is lovely.

Wolf Archer 1: Come on, guys. Stop hanging around! They're getting away!

Wolf Archer 2: Really, dude? Hanging around? Really?

(That wolf archer's joke was so unfunny, there wasn't even a rimshot this time.)

Robin Hood: Nice shot, Skippy.

Skippy: Thanks, Mr. Robin Hood, sir. I've been getting better since you gave me this bow and arrow for my birthday.

Robin Hood: I can tell. Come on. (They all continue running)

Little John: ALAN! LOOK BEHIND YOU!

Alan A Dale: What? (Sees arrows heading his way) AGH! (Blocks them off with his guitar) Aw, man. That's the only guitar I got.

Maid Marian: (helping the two elderly owls run quicker) Come on, you two. I know you're elderly, but you got to go a little faster than this.

Elderly Owl 1: DON'T RUSH ME LADY!

Maid Marian: Wow. Rude much?

Captain Crocodile: (waiting by a nearby wall with an axe in his hand) Aha! I chop you!

Friar Tuck: (manages to get Maid Marian and the owls into a wheelbarrow he is steering and drives them out the way just in time) I think not.

Captain Crocodile: (misses them) D'OH! I missed!

(Hey! That's Wario's line!)

Maid Marian: Phew! Thanks, Friar.

(Before I continue, has anyone else besides me noticed that Captain Crocodile is wearing a purple cape instead of his red one from earlier? Was it ruined when he got ran over by the runaway tent back at the Archery Tournament fight? Dede42: I say that you're right about the color change of his cloak.)

Derek (the Rhino Guard): (charging with the other rhinos toward Robin and Little John by a cart of wine barrels) THERE THEY ARE! ATTACK! ATTACK!

Robin Hood: HURRY, JOHNNY! DUMP THAT CART AT THEM ALREADY!

Derek (the Rhino Guard): (sees Little John lifting up the cart sending the wine barrels rolling they're way) YIKES! RETREAT! RETREAT!

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Wait...wha-(all get knocked down by the barrels like bowling pins) D'OW!

* * *

*While those rascally rhinos are knocked out for a few seconds, everyone gets on the cart while they still can. The little ones like the small raccoons in the white stripey jail clothes though need help getting on the cart from Friar Tuck.*

Robin Hood: (brings Friar the last raccoon) Right, Friar. That's all of them. Get going!

Maid Marian: Uh, Robin? Why don't you ride in the cart with all of us?

Lady Kluck: Are you sure we're not all squashed up in here already?

Skippy: I can't breathe.

Otto: OW! I think someone's sitting on my broken leg!

Robin Hood: No, Marian. I'll be fine. Running keeps me fit anyway. Now, let's get a move on already! (Goes over to pull the lever which lowers the drawbridge)

Little John: This ain't no hayride. Let's move it outta here! (Begins pulling the cart with everyone on it to Sherwood Forest) HOOOOO!

Lady Kluck: (cheering on the cart) COWABUNGA!

Maid Marian: (also cheering on the cart) WE'RE HOME FREE!

Sis: Um...are you sure everyone's here? I feel like we're forgetting someone.

Skippy: Well, let's see. I'm here. You're here. Toby's here. Mama's here. The rest of the family's here. Everyone else is here. Who's missing?

Toby: What about Tagalong?

Skippy: Oh, well she's...uh oh.

Skippy's Mother: (gasps in horror) STOP! MY BABY!

Tagalong: (still back at the castle grounds trying to catch up) Mama, mama, wait for me!

(Oh, ha, ha, ha! That ''wait for me'' joke worked so well the first time, you just HAD to repeat it, huh? Dede42: Yup.)

Robin Hood: (looks back in horror) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HOW COULD I HAVE POSSIBLY LEFT HER BEHIND?!

Friar Tuck: Want me to tell Little John to stop the cart?

Robin Hood: There's no time! I don't care how risky it is, I HAVE to go back and get her myself! (Runs back to the castle grounds)

Maid Marian: NO, ROBIN! WAIT! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!

*Robin grabs Tagalong just before an arrow hits her and carries her back toward the exit.*

Derek (the Rhino Guard): AH! HE CAME BACK! GET HIM!

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: And get knocked over by MORE wine barrels if there are any more? Nope. Not me. You're on your own.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): But it's no fun alone!

* * *

Robin Hood: (almost at the exit) Hold on, Tagalong. We're almost there and soon, you'll be back with your family and...oh no.

Captain Crocodile: TIMBER! (Uses his axe to cut the gate chain causing it to drop trapping Robin Hood and Tagalong)

Robin Hood: AW, GEEZ! WE'RE TRAPPED!

Tagalong: Twapped? You mean, we can't get out?

Robin Hood: Well, maybe YOU can if your small enough to fit through those bars but...

Sheriff: (now in a pink shirt because Little John stole his clothes) WE'VE GOT HIM NOW!

Robin Hood: I'm dead. (Manages to squeeze Tagalong through the bars to a waiting, concerned Little John and a worried Maid Marian outside) Keep going. Don't worry about me.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): (charging toward Robin Hood with his axe along because the other rhinos chickened out) YOU'RE MINE NOW, ROBBY!

Robin Hood: You and what army, Derek? You're mates have given up just after they were knocked over by the wine barrels.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Well, they gave me ALL of they're weapons!

Robin Hood: (notices Derek holding more than one axe in his hand) Oh...RUN! (Climbs up the gates quickly and swings on a rope screaming like Tarzan) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Sheriff: I've got you now, Rob-(Robin hits the Sheriff in the tummy as he continues swinging on the rope) OOF! That's it! Now I'm mad!

Robin Hood: (keeps swinging until he ends up hanging for dear life on a wall) Oh great. A wall.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Hold it right there! I may not have my mates with me this time, but I'm not done with you just yet! Take this! (Throws all the spears at Robin who just so happens to miss them like a boss!)

Robin Hood: Missed me! (Dodges another spear) Nice aim! (Dodges yet another spear that he uses to help him scale the wall) Thanks, Derek.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Wait, huh? Now, how did that happen?

Robin Hood: (reaches the top of the wall) Phew! Made it.

Wolf Archer 1: Hold it right there!

Robin Hood: WHAT?!

Wolf Archer 1: That's right, fool! The rhinos may have given up, but NOT ME! (Fires his arrow at Robin's direction)

Robin Hood: (runs across to the other side of the wall) RUN AWAY!

Wolf Archer 2: (appearing in front of him) HALT!

Robin Hood: ANOTHER ONE?! (Runs the opposite way) MOMMY!

Wolf Archer 2: This is what you get for making my friend over there make a terrible joke about hanging! (Fires his arrow at Robin's direction)

Wolf Archer 1: DUCK!

Wolf Archer 2: (sees Wolf Archer 1's arrow coming his way) YIPE! (Ducks)

Wolf Archer 1: Sorry, bro. (Sees Wolf Archer 2's arrow coming his way) EEK! (Ducks)

* * *

*Not wanting to waste his time with those two, Robin jumps off THAT wall and onto ANOTHER wall, and then jumps from THAT wall to ANOTHER wall and so on and so forth until he finds his way climbing back up to Prince John's still on fire bedroom balcony again. Oh, and apparently, the Sheriff knew that was were Robin was heading.*

Sheriff: (climbing up the stairs leading to Prince John's room with a lit torch in his hand) This time, we've got him for sure!

(Wait, what do you mean ''we'', Sheriff? It's just YOU battling with Robin Hood. I don't see anyone else with you.)

* * *

Robin Hood: (climbs up the still burning from earlier balcony) Huh? Fire?! Oh yeah. Prince John's bed set the place on fire. Well, that figures. (Runs inside the now empty and bedless bedroom and shuts the curtains) Still, this is a good place as any to hide for now.

Sheriff: (standing right behind him while still holding the lit torch) Oh, is that so?

Robin Hood: Uh oh!

Sheriff: I got you now, Robin Hood! There's no escape this time! (Swings his torch at the startled fox setting the curtains on fire)

Robin Hood: (dodges the attack) Sheriff! Buddy! What are you doing?! You're gonna set the WHOLE place on fire with that thing!

Sheriff: Well, if I'm goin' down in flames, you're goin' with me! Now, STAND STILL AND LET ME KILL YOU!

Robin Hood: Oh, I'm SO dead now! Wait! (Notices a rug that the Sheriff is standing on) Hey, Sheriff! What's that over there?

Sheriff: Huh? (Robin quickly pulls the rug out from under him causing him to fall) WHOA-OOF! Ow. My butt.

Robin Hood: (runs to another flock of stairs leading to the roof) You'll never catch me now, Sheriff!

Sheriff: THIS IS NOT DONE YET, BOY! (Throws his lit torch at the stairs causing the fire to rage on and chase after Robin)

Robin Hood: (gets to the attic) Oh. A window. Really? THAT'S my way out of here! (Sees the fire following him and spreading some more) Oh yeah. That window's DEFINITELY my way outta here! (Climbs out the window and onto the roof) There! The fire can't possibly get me from her...(spoke too soon! The fire is spreading to the roof as well) ARE YOU SERIOUS?! NOW I'M TRAPPED!

Prince John: (at another part of the castle) SHOOT HIM!

(Um, PJ? Who are you talking to? There's no way your guards would dare try shooting Robin where he's trapped right now. Plus, I can't even SEE your guards anymore in this scene!)

* * *

*On the ground below near the forest, Little John, Maid Marian, Lady Kluck and Skippy are watching in horror.*

Skippy: ROBIN! JUMP!

Robin Hood: (hears Skippy's shouting) Well...(the fire starts burning his clothes) AH! HOT! HOT! HOT! (Looks down at the moat) I guess I've got no choice here. (Jumps off the roof) GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (EPIC SPLASH!)

Prince John: (yelling in fury) KILL HIM! KILL HIM!

Sir Hiss: Sire, just admit defeat and let him win this time, hmm?

Prince John: NO WAY! KILL HIM!

Sir Hiss: And all your guards have given up trying to at this point now, sire.

Prince John: HUH?!

Sir Hiss: Yep. Even Derek's called it quits.

Prince John: B-b-b-but...

* * *

*Meanwhile back at the ground...*

Little John: Rob? Buddy? Are you alright down there, buddy?

Maid Marian: You CAN swim, can't you, Robin?

Skippy: He's just gotta make it. Or he'll drown!

*Suddenly, Robin's green hat appears floating on the surface, indicating that Robin just couldn't swim (even though he swam perfectly before in the Oo-De-Lally number) and he drowned.*

Little John: (gasps) No...no...no.

Prince John: (cheers in delight) HISS! HE'S FINISHED! DONE FOR! (Begins dancing like an idiot) La, la, la! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Skippy: (after a short silence from everyone standing near him) So, he's gonna make it...isn't he, you three?

Little John: Well...he should...I mean, he could swim just fine before but...well...

Maid Marian: (begins tearing up) Well, (sniff) I guess Prince John finally got what he wanted. (Sniff) Poor Robin.

Lady Kluck: (sees a moving reed) Don't lose hope JUST yet, you two! Look!

Skippy: (sees the moving reed as well) Hey. What IS that?

Maid Marian: (sees it too) Oh. I'm not exactly sure, Skippy. Is it some sort of fish?

Lady Kluck: A SHARK?! LEMME AT EM!

Little John: (leans forward as the reed gets closer) I'm going in for a closer loo...(the reed ends up squirting water in his face) HEY! WHAT THE…?!

Maid Marian: (gasps) C-could it be?

Skippy: Gee whizz! It's Robin Hood!

(Skippy, you already said that.)

Robin Hood: (appears from out of the water) Yep. You guessed it. I'm back from the dead!

Little John: Rob? Ha, ha, ha. Oh man, did you have us worried? We thought you was long gone!

Skippy: (jumps into Robin's arms) Aw, not Robin Hood!

Robin Hood: Ha! Fooled you all, didn't I?

Sir Hiss: (watching from the castle looking surprised) Look, sire! Look! He's made it. He got away again.

Prince John: WHAT?!

Everyone On The Ground Near The Moat Below: A POX ON THE PHONY KING OF ENGLAND! OO-DE-LALLY!

Prince John: (upset) Oh no! It's so miserably unfair! I ALMOST had him that time! I ALMOST HAD REVENGE!

Sir Hiss: Well, I tried to tell you, but no, no, no, you wouldn't listen. Your traps just never work no matter how clever they are. (Notices the burning tower) And now, look what you've done to your mothers castle.

Prince John: (about to his Hiss with a stick until he hears the word ''mother'') AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! MOMMY! (Begins sucking his thumb while whacking Hiss with the stick)

Sir Hiss: (dodging Prince John's swings while panicking) AAH! OOH!

Prince John: HOLD STILL!

Sir Hiss: SIRE, NO!

Prince John: YOU COWARDLY COBRA!

Sir Hiss: PLEASE! OH, NO!

Prince John: PROCRASTINATING PYTHON!

Sir Hiss: NO! WAIT! HAVE MERCY!

Prince John: YOU AGGRAVATING ASP! (Manages to hit Hiss in the tail)

Sir Hiss: SAVE ME! OOOH!

Prince John: (Chases Hiss up some nearby stairs into the castle) YOU EEL IN SNAKE'S CLOTHING!

Sir Hiss: HELP! HE'S GONE STARK RAVING MAD! (Voice echoes all over the castle)

Prince John: NOW, YOU'RE GONNA GET YOURS!

King Richard: (standing right behind Prince John and takes the stick away) I'LL take that!

Prince John: Hey! What's the big idea, bub? I was trying to hit this stupid sna...(realises who he's talking to) AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

King Richard: Well, brother John. Up to your old tricks I see.

Sir Hiss: (gulp) S-s-s-sire?!

Prince John: (nervous) Richard! I...uh...errrrrrrrrrr...

King Richard: I leave England in your care and return to find the people oppressed! And by the looks of things, you've managed to set the whole place on fire!

Prince John: Well...I...uh...yes...that is to say...um...(beginning hugging Hiss in panic)

King Richard: YOU ARE BOTH GUILTY! You have used the crown for your own selfish interests! You should be banished from England FOREVER!

Prince John: (gasps) F-f-f-forever?

King Richard: (reconsiders) But it would upset mother. (Sees the crown still on Prince John's head) Ah yes. The crown. (Prince John gives it to him) Thank you.

Prince John: (begins crying once more) OOOOOOOOH, MOMMY! (Sucks his thumb once more too)

Sir Hiss: Hmph. Big baby.

* * *

A/N: Yay! It's _finally_ done! See you on Tuesday! R&R everyone!


	14. Chapter 14: Happily Ever After Or is it?

A/N: Hey, online brother, I'm fixing that error you found right now.

* * *

Chapter 14: The Party/Happily Ever After! (Or is it?)

*And so we come to the last chapter of our story and as you can see, it is a new day in Nottingham and things are returning to the way they were before again. Oh, here comes Alan A Dale singing his song ''Whistle Stop'' from the opening credits again making his way to a tree with an old poster of Robin Hood with a new title: "Pardoned by order of King Richard".*

Alan A Dale: (chuckles) Y'know, I thought we'd never get rid of those two rascals or see the light of day ever again. But lucky for us folks, good ol' King Richard returned to the throne and...well, he just straightened things out. Why not take a look for yourself?

* * *

*Cut to Prince John, Sir Hiss and the Sheriff of Nottingham in stripy jail clothes in the royal rock pile hitting rocks while the vultures, Nutsy and Trigger who are unexplainably reformed in this scene, are on nearby tree branches watching them.*

Prince John: (breaks a stone in half which lands on his foot causing him to scream in pain) OWWWW! AAH! MY FOOT! OOOH! GEEZ, THAT HURTS! OOOH!

*Sir Hiss just laughs uncontrollably at the sight.*

Alan A Dale: (hears church bells) Say, we'd better get over to the church. Sounds like somebody's throwin' a party over there.

* * *

(And sure enough at the castle, where the tower is being rebuilt, a big party is going on to celebrate the return of King Richard and the defeat of Prince John. Everyone is singing and dancing to a familiar song.)

Everyone: Oh the world will sing of an English King

A thousand years from now

And not because he passed some laws

Or had that lofty brow

While bonny good King Richard leads

The great crusade he's on

We'll all have to slave away

For that good-for-nothin' John

Incredible as he is inept

Whenever the history books are kept

They'll call him the phony king of England!

A pox on the phony king of England!

He sits alone on a giant throne

Pretendin' he's the king

A little tyke who's rather like

A puppet on a string

And he throws an angry tantrum

If he cannot have his way

And then he calls for his Mum

While he's suckin' his thumb

You see, he doesn't want to play

Too late to be known as John the First

He's sure to be known as John the worst

A pox on that phony king of England!

While he taxes us to pieces

And he robs us of our bread

King Richard's crown keeps slippin' down

Around that pointed head

Ah! But while there is a merry man

In Robin's wily pack

We'll find a way to make him pay

And steal our money back

A minute before he knows we're there

Ol' Rob'll snatch his underwear!

The breezy and uneasy king of England!

The snivellin' grovellin',

Measly weasly,

Blabberin' jabberin',

Gibberin' jabberin',

Blunderin' plunderin',

Wheelin' dealin'

Prince John, that phony King of England!

Yeah!

(Everyone is having a grand old time with singing, dancing, eating food, and as the sun starts to set, it was time for everyone to head home.)

* * *

Nutsy: (sees Robin Hood and Maid Marian making they're way back home after the party finishes) Hey! Here comes the inlaw, Trigger! PRESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARMS!

*Trigger salutes and then fires his crossbow ''Ol' Betsy'' by mistake and the arrow goes flying all over place just constantly missing Prince John, Hiss and the Sheriff*

Prince John: (screams with rage) I can't take this anymore, Hiss! I'm fed up with being in jail! I want out I tell ya! I WANT OUT! (Begins crying and sucking his thumb)

Sheriff: No can do, PJ. You heard King Richard's orders. We have to stay here and do our time. Besides, we've brought this upon ourselves anyway.

Sir Hiss: And plus sire, I never really WAS on your side anyway.

Prince John: WHAT?!

Sir Hiss: Well think about it sire. All your traps went horribly wrong. The archery tournament and threatening to hang Friar Tuck. Hmph. Honestly, you should've gone with MY idea about building giant wall in front of your castle so no one could bother you or take your taxes. I tried to tell you but no, no, no you never listened. In fact, when you thought Robin had drowned in the moat, I was actually hoping he'd still be alive.

Prince John: Ooh why I oughta...(trips on his prison chains) Oof! Ooh, as soon we get out of these chains I'm going to beat you up so good.

Sir Hiss: With what? Another one of your mother's mirrors that you broke and gave yourself seven years bad luck?

Prince John: Ooh Hiss! I am gonna...(earthquake out of nowhere starts happening) hey, do you hear that?

*A bunch of Dragons start flying/migrating across the sky. One of them as you can probably guess is the dragon from the My Little Pony episode ''Dragonshy'' carrying jewels he's stolen from various rich type persons. Because of the earthquake caused by the roaring dragons, the prison chains break.*

Prince John: (gasp) Could it be? I-I'm free? (Long pause) I'M FREE! YAHOO!

Sir Hiss: So are the Sheriff and I, sire.

Prince John: And it's all thanks to these...dragons...I didn't know dragons migrated through Nottingham. Right then boys! Since we're free from this royal rock pile, you thinking what I'm thinking?

Sir Hiss: No sire. Whatever it is, keep us out of it.

Sheriff: Yeah, besides, you just want to get revenge on Robin Hood again. I mean, what about King Richard? He's returned now and made Robin Hood an inlaw. We can't go back to our evil ways. That would be breaking orders.

Sir Hiss: And plus, we've already given the poor rhino guards mixed messages.

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: (Robin and Marian pass them) Aww, they really do make such great friends.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Wait, we have to be nice to Robin Hood now? Um, why did all of us try to kill Robin Hood again before this day happened?

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: We were forced against our will by Prince John who was king before Richard came back to do it, that's why.

Derek (the Rhino Guard): I'm getting mixed messages now.

Sir Hiss: See what I mean, sire?

Prince John: Oh fine then! I guess I'll go find somewhere far away from Nottingham to steal money from so I don't get in trouble!

Sheriff: Good luck with trying to decide where to go.

Sir Hiss: Yeah, as for me now I'm free, I'm going to turn over a new leaf and become a good guy.

(Just like Iago did in The Return of Jafar. A film that I somewhat enjoyed but mainly just watched because of Iago. Not because of Aladdin and...*shudders*...Jasmine.)

Sheriff: I'm staying in this rock pile. I'm not getting in trouble with your brother.

Prince John: That's okay! I don't need you two anyway! Now then, where's the best place far away to steal stuf...(some jewels from the dragon falls on his head) OW! My head! Hello? What's this? ''Property of Filthy Rich. Ponyville. Equestria''? (Looks up at the red dragon with the jewels) Hmm? I suppose I could move in with him and ask to share the profits and help him steal whatever's in this Equestria place. (Starts running off) I say, mr Dragon! Mr Dragon! (Runs past various rhino guards)

Derek (the Rhino Guard): Um, is that Prince John escaping?

Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: (gasps) It is! Quick! Inform King Richard!

* * *

*Meanwhile, Alan A Dale is in a nearby field watching Robin and Marian making they're way back home have some fun the same way they did as kids getting ready to say his last line in this film/fanfic.*

Alan A Dale: (chuckles) Well folks, that's the way it really...(Prince John runs past calling for the dragon)...happened?!

Random Choir From Nowhere: Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally Golly, what a day. Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally Golly, WHAT A DAY!

THE END

A Walt Disney, Dede42 and RolePlayer48 Production.

* * *

A/N: And it has been fixed! See you Tuesday! R&R everyone!


End file.
